| Report for Neal Vomit | |
|---|---|
| Approved stories | 3 |
| Pending stories | 1 |
| Rejected stories (hidden) | 3 |
| Deleted stories (hidden) | 6 |
| Summary | Mean Boy |
When we were five, Daniel Davies and I would drop our pencils under the table during handwriting practice, and spend the pencil-recovery time looking up the girls' skirts.
'Magic Table' caught on so well that when the teacher left the room, dozens of pencils would clatter to the floor and all of the boys would congregate underneath the table.
It grew so popular that the girls started to do it too, and thus the "Magic Table" vanished in a puff of logic.
'Magic Table' caught on so well that when the teacher left the room, dozens of pencils would clatter to the floor and all of the boys would congregate underneath the table.
It grew so popular that the girls started to do it too, and thus the "Magic Table" vanished in a puff of logic.
I once overheard another kid at playtime say "I'm telling miss that you said F-U-K" and for years after, I though 'fuck' was spelled 'F-U-K'. Embarrassingly, it was my nan who finally corrected me when I dutifully pointed out some misspelled graffiti in the park. Fuking know-it-all.
I don't remember much about the plot, either, apart from one scene in the first episode where 'egg' was mis-spelled 'eeg' in an ad in a local newsagent's window.
Derek was our school caretaker, and therefore a child predator. Thus this cautionary tale was invented:
Don't bend down when Derek's around
he might do something dirty
like turn his cock to 90 degrees
then drop it back to thirty.
What haunts me about this rhyme is how specific the angle his cock gets to when he wants to do something dirty. 90 degree suggests it sticks out from his evil paedo body at an exact right angle ready to run cock-first into a year 8 pupil.