The Glockenspiel Beater : This weapon can be thrown with pin point accuracy to contact with a desired part of a victim's anatomy with almost no effort. It is one of the subtler weapons as it can easily be launched by a nonchalant flick of the wrist whilst the assailant casually stares in the other direction. Beater throwing is optimal good fun if the head of the beater can be removed and thrown independently from the stick thus giving a two-fold attack strategy.
The Coconut Shells : These are for your more tactical assailant. They can either be used for the basic 'trap someone's fingers in them as they slap shut at 47 mph' gag. OR, for the slightly more adventurous attacker, put one coconut shell over some unsuspecting victim's ear and hit with a beater (see above) until victim has perforated ear-drum.
The Xylophone Keys : Hard, metal, heavy, sharp. So many possibilities, so little time.
The Snare Drum Brush : Most popular of all. This tightly bound weapon consisting of half horse-hair and half wire is most effective when drawn agonisingly slowly over naked flesh - popular with the 'fat kid' bully network.