| Report for shaun andover | |
|---|---|
| Approved stories | 5 |
| Rejected stories (hidden) | 1 |
| Summary | Reprehensible Swot |
I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by the Golden Cockerel Hymn Book, on the cover of which was a photo of a few kids singing merrily and holding copies of the Golden Cockerel Hymn Book, on the cover of which was a photo of a few kids singing merrily and holding copies of the Golden Cockerel Hymn Book.
When the double decker hired for a school trip makes a sharp left, all boys on the top deck must hurl themselves violently towards the right hand side of the bus, in order to tip it over. Afterwards everyone must agree that they got the wheels off the road that time.
'This bloke woke up one morning, and, you know how you sometimes wake up with a bonk on?'
'Yeah'
'Well he did, anyway he decided to have a bath, but he couldn't get rid of it, and you know how your bollocks start to ache if you've had a lob on for a while?'
'Yeah'
'Well, his did, so he decided to have a wank. Anyway he finished but he had a problem cos, well, you know how spunk floats in the bath?'
'Yeah'
'OH MY GOD YOU WANK IN THE BATH YOU MASSIVE BATH WANKER WANKER WANKER WANKER'
'Yeah'
'Well he did, anyway he decided to have a bath, but he couldn't get rid of it, and you know how your bollocks start to ache if you've had a lob on for a while?'
'Yeah'
'Well, his did, so he decided to have a wank. Anyway he finished but he had a problem cos, well, you know how spunk floats in the bath?'
'Yeah'
'OH MY GOD YOU WANK IN THE BATH YOU MASSIVE BATH WANKER WANKER WANKER WANKER'
Take a Philips school atlas and find where you live on it. Show your friends what you’re about to do. Bring your thumb down on your home town, and you should hear all your mates screaming with terror as a 50 mile wide thumb descends upon them and crushes them like red mites. Try gobbing on the map and hear them choke and drown. Best of all, turn round and fart all over the East Midlands.
A popular experiment in rocket ballistics
Apparatus
Lab stool (with hole seat for easy lifting)
Ruler
Pyrex beaker / test tube
Any two chemicals
Method
We have lift off.
Apparatus
Lab stool (with hole seat for easy lifting)
Ruler
Pyrex beaker / test tube
Any two chemicals
Method
- Inform classmate you are going to demonstrate 'rocket science'.
- Seat classmate on lab stool at desk.
- Place chemical in beaker.
- Count down from 10 as you prepare to add second chemical.
- On 'zero', accomplice jabs ruler upwards through hole in lab stool.
We have lift off.