| Report for Mong Boy | |
|---|---|
| Approved stories | 4 |
| Rejected stories | 2 |
| Deleted stories (hidden) | 1 |
| Summary | Exemplary Child |
Also an excellent opportunity for Andrew Marshall to demonstrate a preternatural hatred of the Welsh by thrusting a lit brazing torch into the face of an unsuspecting classmate from the valleys, causing rapid cremation of eyebrows and eyelashes, as well as redefining an adolesecent hairline to the degree that his victim strongly resembled "Ask the Family" host, Robert Robinson.
Is this the same Andrew Marshall that went on to write 2.4 Children, we wonder? Fans of the BBC Gentle-com doing a Google search on their favourite writer may have cause for concern. Though it would explain the episode where Bill (after a series of hilarious misunderstandings) finds herself trapped under a papier-mâché dinosaur with a naked plumber and escapes by burning the face off a welshman.
Is this the same Andrew Marshall that went on to write 2.4 Children, we wonder? Fans of the BBC Gentle-com doing a Google search on their favourite writer may have cause for concern. Though it would explain the episode where Bill (after a series of hilarious misunderstandings) finds herself trapped under a papier-mâché dinosaur with a naked plumber and escapes by burning the face off a welshman.
Bespectacled, Fred Dibnah-esque Woodwork (and if staff shortages demanded - metalwork) teacher, with poorly developed social skills. Fondly remembered for the stoical nature by which he would tolerate our endless tampering with his woefully unfashionable Honda C90 moped. Less fondly remembered for the occasion when he finally lost his tolerance and proceeded to repeatedly punch one 13 year old full in the face until restrained by the caretaker. Replaced the following term by the imaginatively nick-named, but less entertaining "Woody" Stephens.
Previously Undiagnosed Epilepsy - known as "PUE", or "What the fuck is Robert Squire doing?"
First encountered during the part of the Physics curriculum that involved use of strobe lights to study wave motion or something.
First encountered during the part of the Physics curriculum that involved use of strobe lights to study wave motion or something.
Kindly, bearded, Physics and Maths teacher, Mr Legg, must surely have known that an endless stream of his pupils were blatantly taking the piss when they would exaggeratedly hold their breath or cup a hand over their nose when he spoke to them. Perhaps he did know. Perhaps he did deliberately eat dog turds prior to each lesson (a personal theory of Ian Chapman), but I can't believe that. Surely?
Apart from non-verifiable rumours, such as that surrounding Ruth, the chubby girl who is now apparently in a secure hospital after having developed a fixation with Barbie dolls and later stabbed a police officer in Blackpool, how many cases of post-schooling psychopathic behaviour can there be? Step forward Stephen Moore, who after enduring many years of vigorous bullying now resorts to updating his 'friends reunited' entry on a regular basis, with increasingly bizarre and vitriolic recriminations against - it appears - every single person he ever went to school with. Special treatment is reserved for those who he recalls with a particular lack of affection, who must be delighted to find bogus entries under their name, proudly declaiming their gayness.
Unless of course, there were a hell of a lot of latent gays at our school.
Unless of course, there were a hell of a lot of latent gays at our school.
Well, our music teacher was so fat and claimed a place in many childhood memories by having to be hauled undaintily to her feet by four of her colleagues, after falling down the two steps that led into the dining hall. Probably in a pudding rush, the fat cow.
(Fucking hell, that's two to an arm! I hope no-one took the legs; you don't want be giving this fat bitch the bumps! Not unless you want a journey to the centre of the motherfuckin' EARTH! I tell ya! Any more? Let's turn this site into Fat Chicks In Party Hats)
(Fucking hell, that's two to an arm! I hope no-one took the legs; you don't want be giving this fat bitch the bumps! Not unless you want a journey to the centre of the motherfuckin' EARTH! I tell ya! Any more? Let's turn this site into Fat Chicks In Party Hats)