| Report for Dan Smith | |
|---|---|
| Approved stories | 3 |
| Rejected stories | 5 |
| Deleted stories (hidden) | 2 |
| Summary | Could Try Harder |
Our version was:
..did a skid
killed a kid
and owed the mother a million quid.
So you see...not even Jesus is able to escape the compensation culture.
..did a skid
killed a kid
and owed the mother a million quid.
So you see...not even Jesus is able to escape the compensation culture.
I remember a very bizarre song / chant from junior school about an illiterate, smoking, black wearing, elephant-watching little girl named Miss Mary Mack.
As far as I can remember it is as follows:
Miss Mary Mack Mack Mack
All dressed in black black black
With silver buttons buttons buttons
Right down her back back back
She cannot read read read
She cannot write write write
But she can smoke smoke smoke
Her father’s pipe pipe pipe
She asked her mother mother mother
For fifty pence pence pence
To see the elephants elephants elephants
Climb up the fence fence fence
They climbed so high high high
They reached the sky sky sky
And didn’t come back back back
‘til the 4th of July July July
I'm pretty sure the bit about not being able to read and smoking would have been added by us and not taught....but you never know.
I seem to recall there was a verse at the end that involved the death of poor Miss Mack but I cant remember it....any ideas?
As far as I can remember it is as follows:
Miss Mary Mack Mack Mack
All dressed in black black black
With silver buttons buttons buttons
Right down her back back back
She cannot read read read
She cannot write write write
But she can smoke smoke smoke
Her father’s pipe pipe pipe
She asked her mother mother mother
For fifty pence pence pence
To see the elephants elephants elephants
Climb up the fence fence fence
They climbed so high high high
They reached the sky sky sky
And didn’t come back back back
‘til the 4th of July July July
I'm pretty sure the bit about not being able to read and smoking would have been added by us and not taught....but you never know.
I seem to recall there was a verse at the end that involved the death of poor Miss Mack but I cant remember it....any ideas?
We had English debates every week, but not once did we have a debate in maths. What a waste of a potentially hilarious joke.
In some Primary Schools, a perfectly acceptable come-back to this insult was "just because I’m the lord of the gays, it doesn’t mean I’M gay".
This come-back was never used in secondary school, because it was shit, and gay.
This come-back was never used in secondary school, because it was shit, and gay.
Check out the priests erection in the wedding ceremony at the end of "A Little Mermaid".
Also consider saying that the year slag has had "more helmets than Hitler" and "more pricks than a cactus". Not that Hitler had helmets, as such. And cacti don't really have pricks, come to think of it.
Anyway, to imply she's a whore, try "she's sold more shags than Carpet City".
Anyway, to imply she's a whore, try "she's sold more shags than Carpet City".
However, there is that bit in the Lion King when Simba's chasing the monkey, and he falls down on the edge of a cliff and dust sort of swirls up in the air and spells out SEX, just for a second. This one's true, you can check it.
I don't have to, Dan Smith did: Here's Snopes... (Dan Smith)
Although, Hannah Erskine points out, there's debate over whether the letters spell out 'SEX' or 'SFX', the name of the animators. It's in a lot of Disney films, apparently, so it's either a crafty corporate signature, or someone who really finds the word sex funny, loads of times.
However, there is actual bumsex in a Disney movie. Disney owned Miramax, who made Pulp Fiction, which has bumsex in it.
I don't have to, Dan Smith did: Here's Snopes... (Dan Smith)
Although, Hannah Erskine points out, there's debate over whether the letters spell out 'SEX' or 'SFX', the name of the animators. It's in a lot of Disney films, apparently, so it's either a crafty corporate signature, or someone who really finds the word sex funny, loads of times.
However, there is actual bumsex in a Disney movie. Disney owned Miramax, who made Pulp Fiction, which has bumsex in it.
During our school exchange visit to France, a day trip was organised to a seaside town. Five of us snuck off and bought loads of cheap froggy beer and wine and set about quaffing it.
Being a cunt, Jonathan Evenett got drunk and tried to snog a (male) French lifeguard on the beach.
"But they all do it in France!" was his feeble defence.
As if that wasn't sad enough, Jonathan then tried to snog one of the ships officers on the way home, resulting in our entire school being banned from P&O ferries.
He'd only had half a shandy.
Being a cunt, Jonathan Evenett got drunk and tried to snog a (male) French lifeguard on the beach.
"But they all do it in France!" was his feeble defence.
As if that wasn't sad enough, Jonathan then tried to snog one of the ships officers on the way home, resulting in our entire school being banned from P&O ferries.
He'd only had half a shandy.