| Report for Incredible Henry | |
|---|---|
| Approved stories | 1 |
| Rejected stories | 1 |
| Summary | Exemplary Child |
Our local tramp had no such delusions of grandeur, and as far as i know never told anyone that he was, or had been, a millionaire. He did pass his time singing Jumping Jack Flash though and as far as i know only stopped singing on one occassion to hit Stuart Reeve in Bollocks. It was a surprisingly hard blow for such a malnourished man.
Stuart informed us on his return to school a week later that his absence had been caused by his nadgers swelling to the size of tennis balls. Subsequently he hadn't been able to walk for some time.
Jumping Jack Flash is a bit of a local hero now as Stuart Reeve turned out to be a complete and utter Bellwad. One evening, an older Stuart Reeve arrived at the local pub complaining that he had just stepped off a train home from Oxford (where he was at university, the twat) when an unopened can of beer had narrowly missed his head, thrown by a tramp. I like to think that Jumping Jack Flash had been waiting all that time to finish Stuart off. JJF must really have hated Stuart to waste alcohol trying to kill him, perhaps he'd had the mispleasure of being in the same room as him.
Stuart informed us on his return to school a week later that his absence had been caused by his nadgers swelling to the size of tennis balls. Subsequently he hadn't been able to walk for some time.
Jumping Jack Flash is a bit of a local hero now as Stuart Reeve turned out to be a complete and utter Bellwad. One evening, an older Stuart Reeve arrived at the local pub complaining that he had just stepped off a train home from Oxford (where he was at university, the twat) when an unopened can of beer had narrowly missed his head, thrown by a tramp. I like to think that Jumping Jack Flash had been waiting all that time to finish Stuart off. JJF must really have hated Stuart to waste alcohol trying to kill him, perhaps he'd had the mispleasure of being in the same room as him.
We had one teacher who, on entering the classroom would close the door unneccesarily hard, possibly to make up for small or non-functioning genitalia. Having enjoyed sticking a generally disliked chap's pritstick to the ceiling as a form of bullying for some time it was decided by most of the class who owned pritsticks that we should prime a trap for the soon to arrive teacher. We managed to get approximately ten stuck just inside the door before our lookout ran into the class, clearly excited. We sat, to a man bricking ourselves, in silent trepidation. I could hazard a guess that i wasn't the only person who, seconds before detonation, wished i hadn't taken part, or wasn't even in the room. events transpired as follows:
1: Teacher enters the room, turns, slams door.
2: 4 or 5 pritsticks fall on and around him
3: Teacher goes spastic.
Its great looking back, but i genuinely feared for my life at the time. We all got detentions, even the kids who were too poor to even own pritsticks, the twats.
1: Teacher enters the room, turns, slams door.
2: 4 or 5 pritsticks fall on and around him
3: Teacher goes spastic.
Its great looking back, but i genuinely feared for my life at the time. We all got detentions, even the kids who were too poor to even own pritsticks, the twats.