| Report for Loz | |
|---|---|
| Approved stories | 6 |
| Summary | Perfectly Exquisite |
Everyone did. I know I did.
The lost property office was open some ridiculous hours; Tuesday evenings and for half an hour on Sundays. Therefore, a worthwhile trick to play was to steal someone's blazer, shorts, skidders, or whatever and simply hand it in to lost property. It would be much, much, harder for the owner to reclaim his belongings from lost property than from a more conventional hiding place e.g the top of a bus shelter (next to the single green flash (qv) which was always to be found there) or the Longford River.
At my school, posting was perfected to achieve a more painful end. The 'postee' was carried by four 'posters' so more speed could be developed, and was posted face down into one of the thick wooden struts which support cricket sightscreens. These, for those not in the know, slope downwards at approximately 45 degrees, thus ensuring maximum contact twixt post and genitalia.
Post-spastical name for people who were spastics before The Spastics Society changed their name in a bid to stop people calling spastics spastics. We didn't lose a word for spastic, we gained one. And it was scoper.
During a school field trip, one of our number (who was already cursed with the name Matthew Winkle) went to the toilet for an excessively long time. When quizzed about the duration of his visit, he claimed to have been 'talking to Frostie' - Paul Frost being a fellow pupil. 'Talking to Frostie' has thus become a euphemism for masturbation, with such derivatives as 'shouting at Frostie' and 'being ignored by Frostie' unfortunate - but natural - consequences.
Buying permenant markers from Smiths and then substituting them for the dry wipe markers on the teacher's desk resulted in hilarity when said teacher attempted to rub off the day's notes. It was even more hilarious when one of the kids decided to play "rude hangman" when the teacher was away for 20 minutes. When the teacher returned, he was a little surprised to find the slightly smudged-word "COCKSUCKER" printed in large letters on the board.