| Report for Robert Rankin | |
|---|---|
| Approved stories | 3 |
| Rejected stories (hidden) | 2 |
| Deleted stories (hidden) | 2 |
| Summary | Shows promise |
Mr Vallelly called all the boys in the school into an assembly. There must have been 750 of us, wondering what we had done to deserve this special gathering. Vallelly paced around the stage, red faced and visibly fuming.
Finally, he exploded: "Somebody has been spreading EXCRETA on the walls of the boys toilets..."
At this point, his perception of himself as fearsome and authoritative evaporated, as every boy in the hall burst out laughing, and started saying, shouting, singing, excreta.
It's not every day you learn a new word for poo.
Finally, he exploded: "Somebody has been spreading EXCRETA on the walls of the boys toilets..."
At this point, his perception of himself as fearsome and authoritative evaporated, as every boy in the hall burst out laughing, and started saying, shouting, singing, excreta.
It's not every day you learn a new word for poo.
An exercise in lameness. Our Geography teacher didn't wear a wig. His hair was just a bit curly. But we called him Wiggy. Shit, right?
But we never even got close to calling him Wiggy to his face. As our school was on two sites, we would see him approach in his gold BMW, and chant "wiggy" to ourselves, stopping some minutes before he even got anywhere close to the classroom. Supershit.
By the time he got to the classroom, we were all perfectly calm and ready to learn about glaciation and viticulture for an hour. God, we were lame.
Having read that back, Wiggy seems rather ostentatious, driving a gold BMW and all. I would like to point out that it was quite old and painted gold. None of my teachers drove a solid gold sports car.
But we never even got close to calling him Wiggy to his face. As our school was on two sites, we would see him approach in his gold BMW, and chant "wiggy" to ourselves, stopping some minutes before he even got anywhere close to the classroom. Supershit.
By the time he got to the classroom, we were all perfectly calm and ready to learn about glaciation and viticulture for an hour. God, we were lame.
Having read that back, Wiggy seems rather ostentatious, driving a gold BMW and all. I would like to point out that it was quite old and painted gold. None of my teachers drove a solid gold sports car.
The fun of these cleverly invented names turns to heartbreaking tragedy when you meet the unfortunate girl named Vicky Pagett, who has led a needlessly difficult life.