| Report for Chud Bud | |
|---|---|
| Approved stories | 3 |
| Rejected stories | 6 |
| Deleted stories | 3 |
| Summary | Could Try Harder |
How odd. In hot countries, most people bathe at least once a day. In fact, in my grandparents' era in India, people avoided the whites because the pikey soap-dodgers hardly ever washed.
Luckily, we now live in a time of racial tolerance and these outdated stereotypes are forgotten. See the jolly black woman bathing in the Radox advert! She is what she is.
Luckily, we now live in a time of racial tolerance and these outdated stereotypes are forgotten. See the jolly black woman bathing in the Radox advert! She is what she is.
That's because we reserve that phrase for the tourists, naturally.
Study abroad may seem glamourous, but can also be mind-numbingly boring due to the lack of English televisual entertainment. To combat this whilst in Russia, my flatmates and I decided to compile an "alphabet" of wanking styles, such as an Aristocratic Wank, through such gems as the Robotic Wank ending with a Zoological Wank on behalf of Graham, who loved cats. Can't for the life of me remember the rest, but suggestions are greatly appreciated.
Recalls an episode in the First Year (or is it Year Six these days?) when sexual avenues were explored (oo-er) at our (then) all boy school by climbing onto a locker with your knob hanging out and leaping, knob-first, at a fellow duellist.
I didn't take part, and you can't convince me it wasn't remotely gay, you queens.
I didn't take part, and you can't convince me it wasn't remotely gay, you queens.
Ah, Mr Herrington - "Technical Ted". God's gift to race relations. One winter's day, he walked Gabriel Cheung, a boarder from Hong Kong, up to the window, and, pointing to the whiteness outside said "This is snow Cheung. You've probably not seen this before."
A very good friend of mine is Dickon Ponty. Bastards at school soon "helpfully" produced various pseudonyms - Screw-On Tightly, Stick-On Wonky etc, or the eternally succinct Dickon Toast.
Song that reached the height of popularity during the Satanic Verses saga, sung to the tune of "London Bridge is falling down":
A-ya-tol-lah Kho-mei-ni, Kho-mei-ni, Kho-mei-ni
A-ya-tol-lah Kho-mei-ni, Sal-man RUSH-DIE!
A-ya-tol-lah Kho-mei-ni, Kho-mei-ni, Kho-mei-ni
A-ya-tol-lah Kho-mei-ni, Sal-man RUSH-DIE!
My friend Adrian was accused of being gay for doing dance lessons - they even went so far as to concoct an imaginary boyfriend for him called Errol.
With hindsight, Adrian spent a lot of time with fit (in all senses of the word) young ladies, while his detractors at our then all-boy school (it's co-ed now, the bastards...) spent all their time hanging around...with lots of other boys. "Girls? Eurgh!"
With hindsight, Adrian spent a lot of time with fit (in all senses of the word) young ladies, while his detractors at our then all-boy school (it's co-ed now, the bastards...) spent all their time hanging around...with lots of other boys. "Girls? Eurgh!"
Whereas a Badly Packed Kebab is something entirely different...
Great fun was had by smacking a recently innoculated classmate on the arm they were jabbed in, to the cry of "Argh! My B.C.G!". Soon, any assault would have a victim screaming this out as a standard shriek of pain. More enterprising bullies soon began shouting this before hitting their victims, making it something of a self-fulfilling prophecy... or something.
At my infant school, it was actually mandatory to do PE in your underwear. But then they did give us free milk. And raisins. Ah, the Seventies... couldn't get away with that sort of thing now.
Nah, must have been Advanced D&D. Only power my group seemed to have playing D&D was getting kicked around by the cooler kids, and called "sad twats." Great cartoon; clearly know nothing of the juvenile mindset: be good, or bend others to your unearthly will? Call me mercenary, but break out the red cloak and horns stat.