Report for Geordie Boy | |
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Approved stories | 2 |
Summary | Perfectly Exquisite |
Whether someone was a bummer or not could easily be divined from the pitch and timbre of their farts. A tight, peachy squit meant you were fine, whereas a resonant, guttural blotch implied that your sphincter had been loosened from undue bumming.
Oh, yes, thank you. Geordie Boy submitted this one, and it made me remember that I was actually bullied, before I had a "spurt" which sent me to 6 foot at 13. I really thought I'd been popular all my life, and irresistably loveable, when in fact, for a substantial part of my life, I was just an obnoxious jumped-up shit. James Pates was my bully's name! He punched me in the face, and I was too stupid or stubborn to realise I was walking around with blood pouring out of my nose! The year after, I kneed him in the bollocks and then spent the next month convinced I was going to go to prison!