| Report for Unknowing Village Girl | |
|---|---|
| Approved stories | 1 |
| Rejected stories | 1 |
| Deleted stories | 5 |
| Summary | Mean Boy |
Geography class with Mr Pickering was always full of anticipation and excitement, as we tried to predict just when and why Dean would be thrown out of class.
During BCG week he managed to top all his previous efforts (swearing, fighting, general arsing about) by eating his BCG scab. Although I still almost vomit at the thought of it, it made a change from oxbow lakes.
During BCG week he managed to top all his previous efforts (swearing, fighting, general arsing about) by eating his BCG scab. Although I still almost vomit at the thought of it, it made a change from oxbow lakes.
I was forced to endure ritual lunchtime humiliation during my primary school years, all caused by a poor parental lunchbox choice.
Imagine the pain of being surrounded by 7 other shiny faced lunchtime nazis with their lovely matching lunchboxes & flasks, maybe with a lovely picture of some cultural icon of the time, all eyes fixed on me and my catsick yellow Muppets flask and a square orange tupperware box that had obviously been spat out of a wormhole anchored to the 1970s, only to arrive in my mother's kitchen in 1982...
And people wonder why I lunch at my desk these days...
Imagine the pain of being surrounded by 7 other shiny faced lunchtime nazis with their lovely matching lunchboxes & flasks, maybe with a lovely picture of some cultural icon of the time, all eyes fixed on me and my catsick yellow Muppets flask and a square orange tupperware box that had obviously been spat out of a wormhole anchored to the 1970s, only to arrive in my mother's kitchen in 1982...
And people wonder why I lunch at my desk these days...
The early 90s fashion for wearing assorted colours of Kickers' boots was slow to infiltrate my school and for an entire year they were referred to as 'spacker boots'...
A fat girl two years below us with an unfortunately doughy face and tiny sunken eyes. This was often topped off with an alice band, which gave an interesting 'iced bun' effect...
A local variant on the Lincolnshire 'Am' is the cry of 'Aaammmuh', which in hindsight just makes one sound like a big spazz...
The only way to protect oneself against the myriad of horrors that can be spread by hand to school uniform contact...
Even at primary school age, we all recognised that Ruth Burley was more than 'different' and was in fact mad. We first suspected this on noting that she was the only 10 year old to suck her thumb in class, but it was confirmed with the sight of her spending break times spinning around the edge of the school field. Every day.
As a side effect of her clear insanity, Ruth had no friends. Also, it was widely known that she had fleas and that any visitors to her house would catch Burley Fleas, which probably put a few people off. In an uncharacteristic fit of compassion, my friends and I attempted to befriend her one day and gave her the nickname Burl. I even agreed to play with her after school (though not at her house - didn't want to risk the fleas) once and spent two hours following her around the streets while she stole petals from peoples' rose bushes for rose petal perfume. She called for me several times after that but whenever I saw her coming down the path I hid behind the sofa and got my mum to say I was out.
As a side effect of her clear insanity, Ruth had no friends. Also, it was widely known that she had fleas and that any visitors to her house would catch Burley Fleas, which probably put a few people off. In an uncharacteristic fit of compassion, my friends and I attempted to befriend her one day and gave her the nickname Burl. I even agreed to play with her after school (though not at her house - didn't want to risk the fleas) once and spent two hours following her around the streets while she stole petals from peoples' rose bushes for rose petal perfume. She called for me several times after that but whenever I saw her coming down the path I hid behind the sofa and got my mum to say I was out.