| Report for rob smith | |
|---|---|
| Approved stories | 3 |
| Rejected stories (hidden) | 2 |
| Deleted stories (hidden) | 3 |
| Summary | Could Try Harder |
Our PE teacher often made everyone who was shit at football (me included) compete against the actual football team. It's never been clear to this day, what he was actually trying to achieve by this.
I remember one day, I made a woefully feeble yet heroic attempt at a goal, which was easily deflected by our opponents. Taking his job seriously, our captain explained to me about the taking part being rather more important than the winning.
My response to this was to run around the pitch, attacking members of the non-shit team with my bare fists, tears in my eyes and roaring at the top of my voice. It still hurts now. Hurts bad... So bad...
I remember one day, I made a woefully feeble yet heroic attempt at a goal, which was easily deflected by our opponents. Taking his job seriously, our captain explained to me about the taking part being rather more important than the winning.
My response to this was to run around the pitch, attacking members of the non-shit team with my bare fists, tears in my eyes and roaring at the top of my voice. It still hurts now. Hurts bad... So bad...
Ah, the power of mnemonics. Two I remember are:
A Penis Standing Tall Requires Deep Penetration
and
Angela Lansbury's Cunt Requires Fertile Men's Pumping Spunk.
Obviously I can't remember what they were mnemonics for. Probably something dull about chemistry.
A Penis Standing Tall Requires Deep Penetration
and
Angela Lansbury's Cunt Requires Fertile Men's Pumping Spunk.
Obviously I can't remember what they were mnemonics for. Probably something dull about chemistry.
I suffered from a form of Greaves Disease: not the flaky kind, just the sort of eczema that occasionally made huge clefts open in my hands, and made it impossible to grasp anything, or move my hands especially well. Oddly, I received precisely zero kickings because of this, but was consistently done off teachers for having shit writing and they always made me play the most elaborate instruments in music, and then I'd get done for there being all blood on them.
There wasn't even a backlash against my leprosy when 'The Singing Detective' was on. Probably because everyone was too busy wanking over the dirty bits. Which I couldn't fucking do because of my spack hands. Cunts.
There wasn't even a backlash against my leprosy when 'The Singing Detective' was on. Probably because everyone was too busy wanking over the dirty bits. Which I couldn't fucking do because of my spack hands. Cunts.