We had a G.C.S.E. Physics teacher called Mr Fennell. He was an arse to begin with, but any teacher whose first name is Norman deserves everything he gets.nnNorm used to have whole lists of sayings, like when he demonstrated action and reaction using a trolley on a spring he would pull the spring tight saying "I'm no fool, I've played this game before". Or when holding a hot jar, "Ooh, Mucho Hotto". Bad enough as it stands, but only augmented by the fact that he was an inveterate pipe smoker, and would always, without fail, set us some crappy task and disappear across the corridor to the Prep Room to have a quick puff.nnThis led our hardy little band of Physicists to form the "Happy Norm Appreciation Society", so called because he was a miserable fucker whom we all hated. Such papers existed within the society as 'Teaching from the Prep Room', 'The Role of the Pipe in Teaching' and 'Why am I such a twat, my name is Norm' Hit songs included Aspects of Norm, The Phantom of the Opera's Lighting System, CapAciTorS and the list goes on.nnYes, we were sad, but my God the look on his face on our last day when we presented him with the collected papers of The Normers was worth every pubescent moment. And all this informed my own short lived teaching career in Manchester: I decided maybe I wasn't quite in the right mould when one lunchtime I discovered I had the same nicknames for my colleagues as the kids did.nnLike Mr Henderson, who is bald. Clearly, Hendyslap. No question. This is the same Hendyslap who strode into the main staff room, irritated by the mess of coffee granules on the side, proclaiming, "Would the member of staff who has Palsy please refrain from making coffee". Oops.