| Report for Derek Moseley | |
|---|---|
| Approved stories | 5 |
| Rejected stories (hidden) | 3 |
| Deleted stories (hidden) | 14 |
| Summary | Mean Boy |
Buster Bloodvessel's 'Lip Up Fatty' was penned as a kind of Fat Pride anthem. So successful was it, that packs of Dr Marten shod rude-boys would hunt the playgrounds for anybody that could be decribed as portly, and encouragingly sing it to them; all the while encircling the chosen lardarse and sticking six toecaps up his bumpiece.
Our school's zero tolerance policy towards PE kit offenders went too far when Richard Muchamore was forced to complete a cross-country run in his pants. No ten-laps-of-the-school-field for Richard - they sent him out into the world.
Given that the venue for our cross-country runs was the infamous 'cottaging' area of Hampstead Heath, London, the story of a 13 year old boy jogging up and down in a pair of Knight Rider Y-fronts might well have ended more messily than it did.
Given that the venue for our cross-country runs was the infamous 'cottaging' area of Hampstead Heath, London, the story of a 13 year old boy jogging up and down in a pair of Knight Rider Y-fronts might well have ended more messily than it did.
Our English teacher's attempts to remonstrate with Edward were met with a long, protracted 'tut', followed by an exclamation that she was a 'blodclart'. When ask to repeat what he had said, she was also told that she was a 'bumbaclart', and told 'not to distress' him any longer.
The teacher then informed the young man that she was fully conversant with Jamaican patois, due to the fact that she had lived with a black guy for several years, and had him suspended for a week.
For those that don't know, my extensive research has revealed that a 'blodclart' is a 'used tampon', and that a 'bumbaclart' translates literally as an 'anal tampon'.
God, I feel SO babylon. - Mansh
The teacher then informed the young man that she was fully conversant with Jamaican patois, due to the fact that she had lived with a black guy for several years, and had him suspended for a week.
For those that don't know, my extensive research has revealed that a 'blodclart' is a 'used tampon', and that a 'bumbaclart' translates literally as an 'anal tampon'.
God, I feel SO babylon. - Mansh
An interesting, if not particularly amusing, historical footnote...
The name Joey also morphed to suggest 'man-servant' or 'slave'. If, for example, you were good enough to respond to a schoolmate's request to pass the tomato sauce, you were more likely to be met with a sarky "cheers, Joey" than a "thank you very much". Even if the recipient responded gratefully, the rest of your mates would ask "what are you... his Joey?"
The name Joey also morphed to suggest 'man-servant' or 'slave'. If, for example, you were good enough to respond to a schoolmate's request to pass the tomato sauce, you were more likely to be met with a sarky "cheers, Joey" than a "thank you very much". Even if the recipient responded gratefully, the rest of your mates would ask "what are you... his Joey?"
The highlight of a 1984 edition of the Acland Burghley secondary school's 'Weekly Bulletin' was the 2nd year football team being congratulated by the headmaster after a particular good cup run. The picture revealed an assortment of 13 year olds wearing Pringle diamond-cut pullovers, Lyle & Scott roll necks, and Farah's slacks looking for all the world like Brucie, Tarby, and friends at the Bob Hope memorial Pro-Celebrity Golf Tournament.