| Report for Barry Bullet | |
|---|---|
| Approved stories | 3 |
| Rejected stories (hidden) | 2 |
| Deleted stories (hidden) | 6 |
| Summary | Mean Boy |
A boarding school poo and booze story. What more could one want?
Colin, the school loser, thought he'd celebrate a boarding school weekend by holding a party for himself in his study with a bottle of spirits. He partied hard that night, did Colin.
Harry found him. It was the horrendous niff in the toilet block that aroused our initial suspicions. Upon closer inspection, a flaccid, pale leg was seen poking out from the bottom of one of the cubicles.
The door was pushed open to find a half-naked unconscious Colin and an oozing mixture of piss, shit and vomit gradually fanning out across the floor. Well, there’s only one thing to do in such circumstances. We got a camera and took a whole roll of film.
Somehow, Colin got wind of the forthcoming poster production, and he tore Harry's dorm to pieces, destroying every roll of film he could find including the incriminating one. However, instead of hushing up the event, this act of desperation just added to the legend. Before long, everybody knew about it, and Colin’s status as school loser was set in imperishable crystal for future generations to admire.
Colin, the school loser, thought he'd celebrate a boarding school weekend by holding a party for himself in his study with a bottle of spirits. He partied hard that night, did Colin.
Harry found him. It was the horrendous niff in the toilet block that aroused our initial suspicions. Upon closer inspection, a flaccid, pale leg was seen poking out from the bottom of one of the cubicles.
The door was pushed open to find a half-naked unconscious Colin and an oozing mixture of piss, shit and vomit gradually fanning out across the floor. Well, there’s only one thing to do in such circumstances. We got a camera and took a whole roll of film.
Somehow, Colin got wind of the forthcoming poster production, and he tore Harry's dorm to pieces, destroying every roll of film he could find including the incriminating one. However, instead of hushing up the event, this act of desperation just added to the legend. Before long, everybody knew about it, and Colin’s status as school loser was set in imperishable crystal for future generations to admire.
The emotional highs of thinking you are winning a highly competitive game of hide & seek can be shattered into terrible lows when you realise that nobody had any intention of ever looking for you, and you have just spent an hour in dusty cupboard whilst they are all outside playing touch football.
Bless.
Bless.
Barry's peculiar tale here has a sinister edge and will leave you slightly damp, clammy and uncomfortable, just the way that possibly phoney swimming instructors like you, I'd wager...
A new swimming 'teacher' appeared mysteriously one day at the local baths.
As, apparently, one of the school's great swimming hopes, I was subsequently singled out for special tutelage, presumably to get me onto the path of the Olympics.
A special trip was organised where he and I drove to town. I distinctly remember trying on half a dozen pairs of Speedos and had to model each set for him, complete with twirls.
Following this, I was treated to a cream tea at the local cafe and while listening to his platitudes felt extraordinarily privileged to be the 'sports star with potential'.
I never saw him again after that day.
A new swimming 'teacher' appeared mysteriously one day at the local baths.
As, apparently, one of the school's great swimming hopes, I was subsequently singled out for special tutelage, presumably to get me onto the path of the Olympics.
A special trip was organised where he and I drove to town. I distinctly remember trying on half a dozen pairs of Speedos and had to model each set for him, complete with twirls.
Following this, I was treated to a cream tea at the local cafe and while listening to his platitudes felt extraordinarily privileged to be the 'sports star with potential'.
I never saw him again after that day.