Mr Moretto, AKA Mario The Legend, was the best year head we've ever, ever had.

My form tutor at the time was a disgusting creation with absolutely no redeeming features and a peculiar notion of what should be punished and what shouldn't. Basically, I should be punished and the rest of the class shouldn't.

We had many an argument, and every time she went to Mr Moretto and complained. She would then send me to see him too. I was in his office once and he said, in his brilliantly stereotypical and funny Italian accent, "She piss me off too, but we both have to put up with her eh? Just deal with it for my sake, OK? I cannot stand the bitch."

I have worshipped the man ever since. I also managed to trick a boy into saying "fuck off" really loudly in Italian in his lesson. Mr Moretto got furious and sent him out, then as soon as the door shut he started giggling and said "He tell me fuck off!" in a delighted tone.

Legend.