| Report for Nick | |
|---|---|
| Approved stories | 5 |
| Summary | Perfectly Exquisite |
The mistaken belief (aged 7-8) that making babies involved nothing more than urinating into a girls vagina. In our school, vaginas were referred to only as 'muffs', as referring to a muff as a 'vagina' meant you were probably a girl yourself, or gay.
To demonstrate how hard you are, claim that you can grip the hardest on a thorny stalk. Then look as indignantly agonised as you can, whilst maintaining the loosest possible grip on the thorns. Other 'hard nut' tests involved trying to karate chop stupidly thick branches, and Stealing Mrs. Rich's Hairspray.
After watching sex-ed videos, we would boast that we were all capable of producing spunk, and plenty of it. One ginger fat kid claimed he had an entire bowl of it at home. Since that claim, we all pretended to be in possession of at least a pint of our own semen.
Serene was a very stupid girl, several years younger then me. She was of Asian descent, had a disproportionately sized head, and was very, very stupid. She would be teased by people asking "Serene, are you stupid?" to which she'd reply "Yes". She'd get asked that question up to twenty times per break time. She never once cried.
Similar to "we're playing army, who wants to join us?" but without the objective of playing army, and with no girls allowed (in case of 'lurgy' infection). An utterly pointless parade, which would gradually dissipate after 10 minutes in favour of football.