| Report for The Wild | |
|---|---|
| Approved stories | 3 |
| Summary | Perfectly Exquisite |
Classic Catch-22 for those who have got past their revulsion of the opposite sex. More vicious male asks male he wishes to kick the shit out of: "Do you fancy my bird?" Answer yes : "Well she's my fucking bird" - you get a pummeling. Answer no: "What, you think she's ugly?" - you get a pummeling. Answer well obviously yes, but she's your bird, and I respect that - "Are you being clever?" - you get a pummelling.
The pastime of the third row in maths (intelligent but not geeky) was to fill in the grid provided by maths textbooks with swastikas. It wasn't so much that they were all Nazis, but that you could fit exactly 16 on a page and they looked rather pleasing. They also offended those annoying girls with liberal mums who you couldn't even call someone gay or fat in front of. Upset ensued when our books were one day randomly checked by a Jewish supply teacher.
Stupid idea dreamed up by our swimming teacher so he could have an hour off. The idea was - rather than teach us to swim, he would leave us in the pool and let natural selection sort us out. The Darwinnian approach was helped by the volleyballs that we were allowed to play with. Basically the runt boy was the only child in the pool, and everyone else twatted him with volleyballs from round the edge. It was impossible for him to get out as every time he did he exposed his whole body to the barrage of hard plastic spheres instead of just his head. A terrible situation to find yourself in.