| Report for red andy | |
|---|---|
| Approved stories | 7 |
| Rejected stories (hidden) | 6 |
| Deleted stories (hidden) | 3 |
| Summary | Shows promise |
Mo: Abbreviation of ‘Homo’. Also a verb, "he moes/he mo-ed/they are mowing." To gay up.
(Lengthy entry ruthlessly trimmed to size by Susan)
(Lengthy entry ruthlessly trimmed to size by Susan)
Me: I was going past the public toilet the other day and I saw you hanging around it. That looked so gay of you.
Individual: I was using it for a wee
M: ....and a bumming
I: No....that's not true
M: So, you where going to bum someone, rather than be bummed? You admit it!
I: (growing distressed): No I just went for a wee, stop it.
M: So you like to play piss games whilst watching the bummer. That bog is well known for bummers.
I: There was no one the toilets - I just went for a wee.
M: No thats not true - you went there to wait for some people to arrive and bum each other.
I: NO! I went there for a quick wee and left immediately afterwards.
M: ...and to wank over the gay grafitti.
This can go on for as long as you damn well please.
Individual: I was using it for a wee
M: ....and a bumming
I: No....that's not true
M: So, you where going to bum someone, rather than be bummed? You admit it!
I: (growing distressed): No I just went for a wee, stop it.
M: So you like to play piss games whilst watching the bummer. That bog is well known for bummers.
I: There was no one the toilets - I just went for a wee.
M: No thats not true - you went there to wait for some people to arrive and bum each other.
I: NO! I went there for a quick wee and left immediately afterwards.
M: ...and to wank over the gay grafitti.
This can go on for as long as you damn well please.
Standard, unimaginative retort to a threat of violence - "if you hit me, I'll hit you". "If you spit at me, I'll spit at you".
If someone is creeping up on you with a view to ripping the label out of your underwear, however, don't say "If you pull that off, I'll pull yours off".
If you did say that, hilarity would surely ensue.
If someone is creeping up on you with a view to ripping the label out of your underwear, however, don't say "If you pull that off, I'll pull yours off".
If you did say that, hilarity would surely ensue.
One of Balzac's minor works is "Cousin Pons", If you were reading said book in the sixth form common room, it wouldn't take too long for someone to notice and come to the conclusion it is pronounced "ponce". Since you're reading a book with that title you must either BE a ponce, have a cousin who is, or be at least seriously considering a career in poncehood. I suppose the lesson is: don't read poncy books in the 6th form common room.
Irritable and ginger maths teacher Mr Duckworth had a PhD from some university or other. One day, whilst waiting for his arrival in class, Edward loudly informed us that PhD was an acronym for "Purple Helmet Duckworth". It was widely agreed that this was true.
At a pub I frequented as a sixth former, a colleague and I set to work on the blackboard displaying the sweets of the day.
"Black Currant Cheese Cake" became the ever so wrong "Black Cunt Cheese Cak".
"Black Currant Cheese Cake" became the ever so wrong "Black Cunt Cheese Cak".
During assembly we were ordered to sing hymns, but since everyone hates singing, especially hymns, Mr Duckworth walked up and down the aisle that separated two blocks of chairs to ensure that everyone was singingk, and enjoying themselves.
We were later told by the physics teacher that people only sang when Mr Duckworh passed them, thereby creating a "musical sine wave" as he walked up and down the aisle, growing increasingly angry at the fact no-one was enjoying singing hymns.
We were later told by the physics teacher that people only sang when Mr Duckworh passed them, thereby creating a "musical sine wave" as he walked up and down the aisle, growing increasingly angry at the fact no-one was enjoying singing hymns.