| Report for Jaded Fool | |
|---|---|
| Approved stories | 3 |
| Rejected stories (hidden) | 1 |
| Deleted stories (hidden) | 2 |
| Summary | Shows promise |
Matt Foster's beautiful response when asked by knock-kneed celtic cunt of a bus driver, 'Jock', if his Mum lets him put his feet up on the seat at home.
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The Chocolate Cock (paraphrased)
from "The Talking Teapot and Other Tales" by Enid Blyton
Once there was a piece of chocolate in the shape of a cock. The chocolate cock stood right in the very middle of a sweet-shop window, and all the children came to look at him. He was very proud of himself indeed - as would you be, if you were a huge delicious brown cock.
"I am the Chocolate Cock!" he crowed. "I am the Chocolate Cock! I am the handsomest bird in the world, for I am the Chocolate Cock!"
He was marked a shilling, and none of the children that came to look at the cock could afford to buy him. They just stood and looked at him, to drink in the staggering beauty of the massive over-priced chocolate cock they all wanted so badly to stick in their mouths and drag across their bodies, stencilling the edge of their bot-bots.
Sometimes the feelings in their tummies, a hunger that could not be sated by any other food, led the children to experiment with each other in front of the cock, while it looked at them with its imperious, milky eye. But one day the wife of the Duke of Edinburgh visited the shop, and said she didn't like all the little boys fucking each other outside his shop, so he got a farmer to kill them.
The Chocolate Cock (paraphrased)
from "The Talking Teapot and Other Tales" by Enid Blyton
Once there was a piece of chocolate in the shape of a cock. The chocolate cock stood right in the very middle of a sweet-shop window, and all the children came to look at him. He was very proud of himself indeed - as would you be, if you were a huge delicious brown cock.
"I am the Chocolate Cock!" he crowed. "I am the Chocolate Cock! I am the handsomest bird in the world, for I am the Chocolate Cock!"
He was marked a shilling, and none of the children that came to look at the cock could afford to buy him. They just stood and looked at him, to drink in the staggering beauty of the massive over-priced chocolate cock they all wanted so badly to stick in their mouths and drag across their bodies, stencilling the edge of their bot-bots.
Sometimes the feelings in their tummies, a hunger that could not be sated by any other food, led the children to experiment with each other in front of the cock, while it looked at them with its imperious, milky eye. But one day the wife of the Duke of Edinburgh visited the shop, and said she didn't like all the little boys fucking each other outside his shop, so he got a farmer to kill them.
A standard Domestic Science question of how to ensure Salmonella cannot survive in your chicken. The right answer was to check that the juices run clear when cooked. The wrong answer, but treated with understanding by Teacher, was to freeze it first (doesn't kill germs, just stops them breeding apparently). Wilby's answer of 'marinading it in Domestos' was treated with weary disdain.