| Report for Alex Herbert | |
|---|---|
| Approved stories | 3 |
| Summary | Perfectly Exquisite |
Yet another game with no obvious intention or worth beyond providing further means to elevate yourself a whisker above your peers. The game operated only within a small social circle and involved asking a friend a question you already knew the answer to. At the game's most base level, for example, you may ask "is this a banana?" while clearly holding a banana in front of the proposed kippering victim. If he replied with a straight answer to the question then he had been "kippered", and the correct response of the kipperer was to adopt a dramatically pained expression and look away while exhaling heavily, usually following up with the phrase "ooh, kippered him a treat". If the proposed victim spotted the kipper coming, saying "You're alright, mate" would block the kipper. The game died a natural death after a couple of months when no conversation could occur among my friends without a dozen kippering attempts and everyone was constantly on their guard to the point of replying to any spoken word with "You're alright, mate". I'm ashamed to say that me and my friends were in our Upper Sixth when this game evolved from christ-knows-where.
Speednob led to a series of creative approaches to disguising the nobs drawn on your property. These included spaceships with billowing smoke clouds at lift-off, funny faces, general swirly patterns and many more. It is important to note that, if a nob was drawn completely (with the three loops and a T-shape), it was impossible for the disguised nob to look like anything other than a disguised nob, which was still quite gay. However, if you managed to intervene in the drawing of the nob and prevent the T-shape being drawn across the bell-end, you had half a chance of changing the three loops into something innocent. Try it yourself. You'll see what I mean. Of course this made it all the more critical for the nobber complete the nob and only encouraged kids to try harder. See: speednob, advanced.
Speednob became such an obsession in my school that it was unusual to see any ink-permeable surface without a nob on it. Eventually pupils were so alert to preventing their property being nobbed that it was very difficult for even the most committed player to nob anything at all. The only option for the potential artist was to draw a nob on the flat surface of an eraser with a cartridge pen and quickly use it as an ink stamp on the targeted item. So long as the victim didn't see you draw the nob on your eraser, he would be entirely unsuspecting and a swift movement with the eraser would ensure a successful nob placement on anything from textbooks to foreheads.