| Report for Gil St-Albin | |
|---|---|
| Approved stories | 3 |
| Rejected stories | 2 |
| Summary | Exemplary Child |
From: Gil St-Albin, Australia
Binball, noun
Game of gladiatorial combat widely used to acculturate boys into habitual denial of physical pain. Two large teams (of up to 50 players) are assembled on an enclosed court, eg a basketball court. The court has two halves, separated by a no-man's-land about 3 metres wide. The game requires 6 volleyballs. Each team hurls volleyballs at players of the opposing team as hard as is physically possible. No-man's-land theoretically prevents players from pot-shots at point blank range. A targetted player may: (a) Catch the ball on the full or one bounce. He is not out, and may now return fire. (b) Be struck heavily on any part of the body, failing to catch the ball. He is out. Players struck out, if still conscious, proceed to the back line of the enemy team. They may now gather any loose balls and pound at the opposition from behind. As more players are knocked out from each team, a vocal and vicious backline crowd gains in number and volleyballs assail remaining players from all sides. The winner is the last player left on the field. Supposedly. Binball is unique for being treacherous, frighteningly violent, socially exclusive (in its 'musical chairs'-type logic) and physically painful. As a microcosm of the players' future lives as males it has no peer.
Fat; fatty; noun.
An erection. Just in case it hasn't been noted. At our school they always were.
Five-by-fives; noun phrase.
Large collection of small ink drawings restricted to a 5 cm x 5 cm format, on diverse but increasingly sexual themes. Apparently inspired by the work of the Heidelberg School, a group of 19-century Australian painters who for want of expensive canvasses, once exhibited a series of landscapes on the lids of 9 x 9 inch cigar boxes. A plastic flowchart template is required for the construction of a correctly-sized frame and for a repertoire of basic shapes. Thus a true 5 x 5 is developed from unstructured doodling with a flowchart template. Use of Dali's 'critical paranoiac' method to quickly tap unconscious desires is advised. Phallus-like doodles should be immediately disguised with the same means used in a speednob reversal. The 5 x 5 school had three members at its peak in 1986.
Nih, interjection
Inchoate exclamation of an evidently stupid person, esp. a muscle-bound rugby footballer. This term is a 'false friend' of Monte Python's 'Knights of Nih'; it was not derived from the eponymous utterances of these knights. Supposedly captures the essence of the language of rugby footballers, who are imagined to communicate in monosyllabic grunts rendered thus by the deviated septum of a broken nose. Utter in tones of derision to another of the cognoscenti as a stupid person walks by.
Zwee,
1. interjection. Impressionistic ejaculation connoting the personal peculiarities of a muscular, bright-eyed, possibly gay English teacher with wiry forearms and hands. He was in the habit of spreading his hands dramatically on the table as he leaned forward talking rapidly and precisely. The synaesthesic verbal summation of this was, obviously, Zwee.
2. noun. A mythic creature resembling a hand walking on its five digits; a copiously veined, disembodied hand with eyes. Draw the creature on any spare sheet of paper and have it say in a speech bubble, 'Zwee.'
Man with Jack-in-the-box, The, noun phrase.
Best known example of a freestyle epic narration (a form of oral storytelling in which profoundly eccentric characters have endless serial adventures in a world that is in various unforeseeable ways hostile to their existence). A story featuring a man cursed with the possession - which he could never put down - of a large jack-in-the-box whose 'jack' could spring to a height of twenty metres; an optimistic young girl; a monk who had mastered a meditative technique in which one relocated one's own centre of gravity to a point some way in front of oneself (this made walking impossible; he could only fall from place to place), and other minor figures. This trio encounters many trials as they negotiate, for example, perilous roof gardens made of papier mache and corridors which contrary to the laws of perspective, physically narrow to a single point. The story was developed at length during quiet lunchtimes by the brighter boys who didn't play touch football and who had been heavily influenced by surrealism in art class and off-centre popular culture.
Binball, noun
Game of gladiatorial combat widely used to acculturate boys into habitual denial of physical pain. Two large teams (of up to 50 players) are assembled on an enclosed court, eg a basketball court. The court has two halves, separated by a no-man's-land about 3 metres wide. The game requires 6 volleyballs. Each team hurls volleyballs at players of the opposing team as hard as is physically possible. No-man's-land theoretically prevents players from pot-shots at point blank range. A targetted player may: (a) Catch the ball on the full or one bounce. He is not out, and may now return fire. (b) Be struck heavily on any part of the body, failing to catch the ball. He is out. Players struck out, if still conscious, proceed to the back line of the enemy team. They may now gather any loose balls and pound at the opposition from behind. As more players are knocked out from each team, a vocal and vicious backline crowd gains in number and volleyballs assail remaining players from all sides. The winner is the last player left on the field. Supposedly. Binball is unique for being treacherous, frighteningly violent, socially exclusive (in its 'musical chairs'-type logic) and physically painful. As a microcosm of the players' future lives as males it has no peer.
Fat; fatty; noun.
An erection. Just in case it hasn't been noted. At our school they always were.
Five-by-fives; noun phrase.
Large collection of small ink drawings restricted to a 5 cm x 5 cm format, on diverse but increasingly sexual themes. Apparently inspired by the work of the Heidelberg School, a group of 19-century Australian painters who for want of expensive canvasses, once exhibited a series of landscapes on the lids of 9 x 9 inch cigar boxes. A plastic flowchart template is required for the construction of a correctly-sized frame and for a repertoire of basic shapes. Thus a true 5 x 5 is developed from unstructured doodling with a flowchart template. Use of Dali's 'critical paranoiac' method to quickly tap unconscious desires is advised. Phallus-like doodles should be immediately disguised with the same means used in a speednob reversal. The 5 x 5 school had three members at its peak in 1986.
Nih, interjection
Inchoate exclamation of an evidently stupid person, esp. a muscle-bound rugby footballer. This term is a 'false friend' of Monte Python's 'Knights of Nih'; it was not derived from the eponymous utterances of these knights. Supposedly captures the essence of the language of rugby footballers, who are imagined to communicate in monosyllabic grunts rendered thus by the deviated septum of a broken nose. Utter in tones of derision to another of the cognoscenti as a stupid person walks by.
Zwee,
1. interjection. Impressionistic ejaculation connoting the personal peculiarities of a muscular, bright-eyed, possibly gay English teacher with wiry forearms and hands. He was in the habit of spreading his hands dramatically on the table as he leaned forward talking rapidly and precisely. The synaesthesic verbal summation of this was, obviously, Zwee.
2. noun. A mythic creature resembling a hand walking on its five digits; a copiously veined, disembodied hand with eyes. Draw the creature on any spare sheet of paper and have it say in a speech bubble, 'Zwee.'
Man with Jack-in-the-box, The, noun phrase.
Best known example of a freestyle epic narration (a form of oral storytelling in which profoundly eccentric characters have endless serial adventures in a world that is in various unforeseeable ways hostile to their existence). A story featuring a man cursed with the possession - which he could never put down - of a large jack-in-the-box whose 'jack' could spring to a height of twenty metres; an optimistic young girl; a monk who had mastered a meditative technique in which one relocated one's own centre of gravity to a point some way in front of oneself (this made walking impossible; he could only fall from place to place), and other minor figures. This trio encounters many trials as they negotiate, for example, perilous roof gardens made of papier mache and corridors which contrary to the laws of perspective, physically narrow to a single point. The story was developed at length during quiet lunchtimes by the brighter boys who didn't play touch football and who had been heavily influenced by surrealism in art class and off-centre popular culture.
From Gil St-Albin, Australia
Binball, noun
Game of gladiatorial combat widely used to acculturate boys into habitual denial of physical pain. Two large teams (of up to 50 players) are assembled on an enclosed court, eg a basketball court. The court has two halves, separated by a no-man's-land about 3 metres wide. The game requires 6 volleyballs and two upended plastic bins. These must be protected like wickets. Each team hurls volleyballs at players of the opposing team as hard as is physically possible. No-man's-land theoretically prevents players from pot-shots at point blank range. A targetted player may: (a) Catch the ball on the full or one bounce. He is not out, and may now return fire. (b) Be struck heavily on any part of the body, failing to catch the ball. He is out. Players struck out, if still conscious, proceed to the back line of the enemy team. They may now gather any loose balls and pound at the opposition from behind. As more players are knocked out from each team, a vocal and vicious backline crowd gains in number and volleyballs assail remaining players from all sides. The winner is the first team to knock over the other tema's bin. Binball is unique for being treacherous, frighteningly violent, socially exclusive (in its 'musical chairs'-type logic) and physically painful. As a microcosm of the players' future lives as males it has no peer.
Binball, noun
Game of gladiatorial combat widely used to acculturate boys into habitual denial of physical pain. Two large teams (of up to 50 players) are assembled on an enclosed court, eg a basketball court. The court has two halves, separated by a no-man's-land about 3 metres wide. The game requires 6 volleyballs and two upended plastic bins. These must be protected like wickets. Each team hurls volleyballs at players of the opposing team as hard as is physically possible. No-man's-land theoretically prevents players from pot-shots at point blank range. A targetted player may: (a) Catch the ball on the full or one bounce. He is not out, and may now return fire. (b) Be struck heavily on any part of the body, failing to catch the ball. He is out. Players struck out, if still conscious, proceed to the back line of the enemy team. They may now gather any loose balls and pound at the opposition from behind. As more players are knocked out from each team, a vocal and vicious backline crowd gains in number and volleyballs assail remaining players from all sides. The winner is the first team to knock over the other tema's bin. Binball is unique for being treacherous, frighteningly violent, socially exclusive (in its 'musical chairs'-type logic) and physically painful. As a microcosm of the players' future lives as males it has no peer.
5 x 5 cm doodles, inspired by the work of the Heidelberg School, a group of 19-century Australian painters who for want of expensive canvasses, once exhibited a series of landscapes on the lids of 9 x 9 inch cigar boxes. A true 5 x 5 is developed from unstructured doodling, making full use of Dali's 'critical paranoiac' method to quickly tap unconscious desires is advised. Generally, little pictures of cocks.
Zwee,
1. Interjection. Impressionistic ejaculation, connoting the personal peculiarities of a muscular, bright-eyed, possibly gay English teacher with wiry forearms and hands. He was in the habit of spreading his hands dramatically on the table as he leaned forward talking rapidly and precisely. The synaesthesic verbal summation of this was, obviously, Zwee.
2. Noun. A mythic creature resembling a hand walking on its five digits; a copiously veined, disembodied hand with eyes. Draw the creature on any spare sheet of paper and have it say in a speech bubble, 'Zwee.'
1. Interjection. Impressionistic ejaculation, connoting the personal peculiarities of a muscular, bright-eyed, possibly gay English teacher with wiry forearms and hands. He was in the habit of spreading his hands dramatically on the table as he leaned forward talking rapidly and precisely. The synaesthesic verbal summation of this was, obviously, Zwee.
2. Noun. A mythic creature resembling a hand walking on its five digits; a copiously veined, disembodied hand with eyes. Draw the creature on any spare sheet of paper and have it say in a speech bubble, 'Zwee.'
Man with Jack-in-the-box, The, noun phrase.
Best known example of a freestyle epic narration (a form of oral storytelling in which profoundly eccentric characters have endless serial adventures in a world that is in various unforeseeable ways hostile to their existence).
A story featuring a man cursed with the possession - which he could never put down - of a large jack-in-the-box whose 'jack' could spring to a height of twenty metres; an optimistic young girl; a monk who had mastered a meditative technique in which one relocated one's own centre of gravity to a point some way in front of oneself (this made walking impossible; he could only fall from place to place), and other minor figures. This trio encounters many trials as they negotiate, for example, perilous roof gardens made of papier mache and corridors which contrary to the laws of perspective, physically narrow to a single point.
The story was developed by the boys who didn't play touch football.
Best known example of a freestyle epic narration (a form of oral storytelling in which profoundly eccentric characters have endless serial adventures in a world that is in various unforeseeable ways hostile to their existence).
A story featuring a man cursed with the possession - which he could never put down - of a large jack-in-the-box whose 'jack' could spring to a height of twenty metres; an optimistic young girl; a monk who had mastered a meditative technique in which one relocated one's own centre of gravity to a point some way in front of oneself (this made walking impossible; he could only fall from place to place), and other minor figures. This trio encounters many trials as they negotiate, for example, perilous roof gardens made of papier mache and corridors which contrary to the laws of perspective, physically narrow to a single point.
The story was developed by the boys who didn't play touch football.