| Report for uncle monty | |
|---|---|
| Approved stories | 10 |
| Rejected stories (hidden) | 8 |
| Deleted stories (hidden) | 11 |
| Summary | Could Try Harder |
An insult levelled by Alan Blackburn based on his premature puberty, which afforded him thick, lustrous pubic hair and a constant jet of white wee (as opposed to yellow cum) gushing from his cock.
I posted this a few days ago and while you may have flowered-up my language - nice use of the word "lustrous" - you did lose the bit about how the once virile king of the locker-room is now a sad fat loser whose sex life consists of whacking off on left-handed websites? Could you put that back in?
(My pleasure, Uncle Monty. Sleep well. - Log)
(My pleasure, Uncle Monty. Sleep well. - Log)
A short-lived fashion of shoes in the late '70s. They were very flat, very wide, but most importantly, had very stiff wooden soles that stuck out at least 1/2 an inch, which were ideal for kicking shins in. I've just done a google search but found no references. I will personally blow anyone who can produce a picture of them. If you can find a pair in size 11, the sky's the limit.
Isn't this meant to be a site for capers and chicanery of your school years ? This reads more like a social services dossier. What next? "How we used to fist Barry and shit on his chest"?
[log]Readers. Did you used to fist barry and shit on his chest? If you did, please submit your story to The Law of the Playground, the world's premier resource for underage scatfistery. Seriously, Monty, we don't know what we are, and clearly neither do our contributors. So just roll with it.[/log]
[log]Readers. Did you used to fist barry and shit on his chest? If you did, please submit your story to The Law of the Playground, the world's premier resource for underage scatfistery. Seriously, Monty, we don't know what we are, and clearly neither do our contributors. So just roll with it.[/log]
Such was our latin teachers love of classical civilization, he used his pupils in an attempt to re-create Ancient Rome in his class.
He got us to dress up in togas (using the long red velvet classroom curtains), and then "show me how you recline like a Roman" - in other words, get 13 year-olds to dress in a suspect way and then lay on a desk in front of him for his approval.
Ok, so we weren't brutally sodomised or even forced to whack him off, but it was all a bit odd, no ?
If I whacked off every punter who managed a few oblique references through Google, I'd have arms like Precious McKenzie. Close, but no chafed cigar.
Don't know who Precious McKenzie is? We didn't. So here's the google link to this South African back injury specialist and weightlifter. Can I have a hand job off Nick Hunt please? - Log
Don't know who Precious McKenzie is? We didn't. So here's the google link to this South African back injury specialist and weightlifter. Can I have a hand job off Nick Hunt please? - Log
After a series of sex-ed classes, Jason B. adopted the phrase "epididimus scrotumsac" to replace "exactly", "excuse me" and anything else that began with "eh.....".
He still throws it into the occaisional conversation, despite the fact it's impossible to reverse translate, and makes him sound like a cunt. And he's 38. Cunt.
He still throws it into the occaisional conversation, despite the fact it's impossible to reverse translate, and makes him sound like a cunt. And he's 38. Cunt.
Park High School in the '70s. Our music teacher was fat, and he was called Mr Tucker. We retired to the playground, had a twenty minute brainstorming session, in which it was proposed, and eventually agreed, that we should call him Mr Fat Fucker.
(Do re mi so fat you fat fuck! What a fucking fatso! Did anyone have a fat woodwork teacher? - Log)
(Do re mi so fat you fat fuck! What a fucking fatso! Did anyone have a fat woodwork teacher? - Log)
I dearly regret bunking off one particular day in my 4th year. That was the day that one of the former pupils came back to school, as he'd promised, and kicked the living shit out of Mr. Burns, the short-arsed, swarthy, bullying games teacher.
Those who were there assure me that: it was "a beautiful moment", "poetry", "he had it coming", and my favourite: "he whimpered".
Not even touching Jeanie's quim for the first time was adequate compensation (Jeanie was our dog).
Those who were there assure me that: it was "a beautiful moment", "poetry", "he had it coming", and my favourite: "he whimpered".
Not even touching Jeanie's quim for the first time was adequate compensation (Jeanie was our dog).
Lee Sylvester was 2 years above me at school, and clearly the school hard man. He demonstrated this by decapitating a rabbit and nailing its head by its ears to the school basketball hoop.
He took me to one side and showed me the rabbit's foot, making it form a fist by pulling on the tendon hanging out of the back.
I'd never spoken to him before - the fact that he showed me alone made me feel very special. Does this mean I'm a gayer?
Yes.
He took me to one side and showed me the rabbit's foot, making it form a fist by pulling on the tendon hanging out of the back.
I'd never spoken to him before - the fact that he showed me alone made me feel very special. Does this mean I'm a gayer?
Yes.