| Report for Bob McBride | |
|---|---|
| Approved stories | 2 |
| Rejected stories (hidden) | 1 |
| Summary | Exemplary Child |
Gayness, like vampirism, is spread through intimate contact. Therefore, if you approached the Bumming Bushes at the far end of the playing field you were, literally, asking for it.
Hidden in those bushes were anything from one to five naked men who would bum any boy who came too near. They would drag him into the bushes and bum him until he liked it and thereafter he, in turn, would bum others and so on...
A brave group of boys once stormed the bushes and found no naked men but they did find a few lolly sticks an empty can and some string. This was all the evidence needed to confirm that some victim had been tied up and bummed with such vigour that a refreshment break had been necessary.
As the legend grew bolder the naked men were given names. There was Ram Bottom - the leader, Captain Kinky, Big Billy Bendy Bollocks and two others who always wore masks but were thought to be Mr Ellis (Geography) and the old man who swept up in the market and who had been caught masturbating in a public convenience.
Hidden in those bushes were anything from one to five naked men who would bum any boy who came too near. They would drag him into the bushes and bum him until he liked it and thereafter he, in turn, would bum others and so on...
A brave group of boys once stormed the bushes and found no naked men but they did find a few lolly sticks an empty can and some string. This was all the evidence needed to confirm that some victim had been tied up and bummed with such vigour that a refreshment break had been necessary.
As the legend grew bolder the naked men were given names. There was Ram Bottom - the leader, Captain Kinky, Big Billy Bendy Bollocks and two others who always wore masks but were thought to be Mr Ellis (Geography) and the old man who swept up in the market and who had been caught masturbating in a public convenience.
The first thing you notice about foreign exchange pupils is just how foreign they look. Invariably, their heads were a strange shape, they smelled odd and their clothes ranged from bizarre to hilarious.
Depending on their gullibility and command of English it was occasionally possible to get them to do silly and potentially dangerous things. Most of them were too wise to fall into any trap involving the words fuck, wank, bastard or shit. The skill lay in coming across as trustworthy and in using phrases obscure enough to raise no alarms. We had moderate success with a young French boy who we managed to send into a sweet shop, point to a big jar and say 'clitoris'. The same boy, without any inducement at all, surprised my sister on a cramped car journey by asking if he could come on her legs. She laughed and so did I. My friends decided he wan't a proper French person when he declined the offer of eating a whole raw onion.
On the whole, Germans were more fun becaue it was permissible to punch them for starting wars and gassing people.
Depending on their gullibility and command of English it was occasionally possible to get them to do silly and potentially dangerous things. Most of them were too wise to fall into any trap involving the words fuck, wank, bastard or shit. The skill lay in coming across as trustworthy and in using phrases obscure enough to raise no alarms. We had moderate success with a young French boy who we managed to send into a sweet shop, point to a big jar and say 'clitoris'. The same boy, without any inducement at all, surprised my sister on a cramped car journey by asking if he could come on her legs. She laughed and so did I. My friends decided he wan't a proper French person when he declined the offer of eating a whole raw onion.
On the whole, Germans were more fun becaue it was permissible to punch them for starting wars and gassing people.