During a youthful LSD session, we invented Douglas Bader Football, which - you guessed it - involved running around after a ball in a stiff-legged manner. The humour was lost on me until after I'd come down. At the time I was paranoid as fuck and wondered what everyone was going on about, and why I didn't understand, and whether anyone would notice. Me and a mate ended up playing Douglas Bader Football on a busy summer's day in the park recently, pissed, for old time's sake. A middle-aged woman overheard us and couldn't control herself laughing.