The Law of the Playground

Reading out loud

When asked to read out loud, bear in mind that one of two scenarios will always prevail;

A child not making mistakes would be jabbed in the ribs with a ruler. This would make his voice break, allowing everyone to call him a girl.
A word would be seriously mispronounced (for example, the Christopher Frame Orange-Ootang incident). This word would become one's nickname for the foreseeable future.

A third, more dangerous path, was to add references to the last film you had seen into the book you were reading, largely by shouting "pyow, you're dead meat sucka" in the middle of Charlotte's Web.

written by pe*roce*li ., approved by Log

In the customary, desperate attempt to be cool, our English teacher insisted that we read from the cowboy novel, "Shane", in an American accent.
To help us attain the desired Western drawl, we were encouraged to eat Toffo sweets, like the toffee-chewin', kiddy-fiddlin' cowboy from the TV ads.

written by an*nymou* us*r, approved by Ponky