At nine years old, word reached our rural primary school of the existence of amazing characters called 'Jews'. David Nichol explained: they looked just like you and me - the only difference being that if you threw a penny at them, they would pick it up.

Word got around about these Jews, in utter isolation from reality. Those two worlds colliding during a Nativity service, when James Dunlop read from the New Testament. He managed to finish 'he shall be King of the Jews' before collapsing into laughter, along with the angels and choir.