All of the trays in our canteen were dark brown wood except one, which was still brown, but slightly lighter. This was the gay tray, and if it was top of the pile when you came to the stack, you were obliged to use it. This usually meant losing your dinner, as you would be decked (qv). Taking the normal, presumably straight, tray from underneath it was even worse. You were then "gay scared" (a kind of state of beyond gayness) and got a beating behind the stage curtains. One boy got set up with the gay tray every day for a week, until he was caught throwing it into the skip during break. The preferred interpretation of this was that he was on a secret date with the gay tray. So; "Gay Paul Clay With the gay tray Sticks it up his bum Then he bums his mum"

Funnily enough, an identical set of circumstances occurred at our school - only a strange transformation would occur with the role of the tray as you progressed through your school career. In the junior half of the school the rarity value of the sole light tray held a certain cache. However, once you'd reached the senior school, the terrible truth about the gay tray and the effects it wraught upon the carrier became known to all and sundry. Memories of the remarkably violent fights that used to break out as people were pushed to the front of the queue in order to be the day's gay tray bearer still bring a smile to my face. Could the differing views of the junior and senior pupils be a 'To Kill a Mockingbird'-esque metaphor for the acceptance and tolerance of an innocent mind? Who knows?

The story of a similar "gay tray" also occurred at my school. I attend a school which is subject to more riducule and steroetyping in regards to gay jokes. My school is a ballet school where we study the art of ballet. Unluckily for us we are steroetyped to be gay. Some are gay but of the most part male ballet dancers are not gay. The relevence of the gay tray is the fact that our cafeteria in our residence has ALL blue or green plastic plates and clear cups. However ther is one Pink coloured plate and one pink cup. These items are known as the "gay set" and whoever takes them it thought to have "caught gay" (which of course is contagious) and whoever touches this gay person is said to have caught gay, and so on it goes.

A joke my friend made up:

Q: What do you call 7 gay guys at the bar(re)?
A: Ballet class

In our canteen, i was a gay chair. All of them were the traditional plastic moulded seats on metal legs, and a rusty red colour, except the gay chair which was a slightly lighter shade of
Entry suspended at this point, if only for the admission that Rob was, in fact, a gay chair. Note to readers: If you'd like to know how this all pans out, see 'gay tray' - Conor