Nobby Hall: the definitive version
Nobby Hall is a standard bus song, sung to the tune of "If you're happy and you know it...".
His name was Nobby Hall, Nobby Hall,
His name was Nobby Hall, Nobby Hall,
His name was Nobby Hall, and he only had one... fiiiing-EEER!
His name was Nobby Hall, Nobby Hall.
Now you've got the general idea, we can mercifully whip through the other verses.
  • He went to rob a bank, and he stopped to have a sandwich.
  • The police began a hunt, and they caught the stupid man.
  • The police caught him quick, and they caught him by his elbow.
  • The judge's name was Annie, and she had a hairy head.
  • The lawyer's name was Chuck, and he was a lousy rascal.
  • They sent him off to Venus, and he landed on his head.
  • He landed in a pit, and the pit was full of moss.
After which, if you're all still singing, you can round off with the first verse.
There are two ways of spicing it up. The first version, for wet ladies, include singing with the proper sweary words in, but very quietly, so that everyone goes "tee hee". For the bolder performers, you can sing the whole thing "inverted". An inverted verse would go;
She had a hairy fanny, hairy fanny,
She had a hairy fanny, hairy fanny,
She had a hairy fanny,
and the judge's name was... Annie,
She had a hairy fanny, hairy fanny.
It's important to keep the pause, as though you are going to say something rude, but don't. Just like the original.
This version would drop the jaws of younger children, which is what it's all about, really.
written by Sy*thi* S*iderl*g, approved by Log