Librarian Logic
Logic employed by people who compenstate for their lack of intelligence with a need to be obeyed.
Librarian: You've all got to move, you're blocking the fire door.
Me: But we're the only ones here.
Librarian: But it's dangerous, you're causing an obstruction.
Me: The door is locked anyway!
(I demonstrate by trying the handle)
Librarian : But I have the key in my drawer.
Me: You're only here two days a week! And what if you die in the fire?
Librarian: Just get on with your work and try not to block the door.
Us: Okay...
written by Al*x K, approved by Log

In a similar piece of logic, we were denied a coke machine.

Us: Why?
Them: It's a fire hazard?

Us: How?
Them: In the event of a fire it could block an exit.
Us: Well then put it somewhere where it isn't blocking an exit.
Them: In the event of a fire, someone could move it and use it to block an exit.
Us: If we wanted to burn someone to death we wouldn't be stopped by not having a coke machine to block a door with.
Them: Shut up.
written by Ji*bo B., approved by Log

Ah yes, Mrs Arul-Vetha. One of the few times I actually HAD 'just forgotten to bring in' my homework, having had the mother of all bronchitis infections.

"That's fine, but you should have bought a note from your mother explaining that you'd forgotten it"

"But if I'd have thought of that, wouldn't I have just bought in the homework"

I had to draw a diagram for her - on the board - of the thought process that would have led to this eventuality.

Christ.
written by To* Lu*n, approved by Rosy