Hoover
When in 1st year in secondary school an (entirely unfounded) rumour spread like wildfire that someone in a different class had been caught wanking with a hoover. The poor bastard had the whole school running up and shouting 'HOOOOOOOVER!' and 'VROOOOOOOOOOOO!' in his face, whilst mimicking the movement of hoover to genitals. This not only forced him to leave the school, but move to an entirely different TOWN. His name? Jeremy Dyson.
Not really.
Not really.
written by An*re* O *eg*n, approved by Mansh