staple guns
The coolest of the "gun" weapons to be found in a school, beating glue guns by a fucking mile.

It is possible to launch yourself through the air, with a staple gun in each hand, firing John Woo-style into planks of wood across the room.

For closer-range attacks, simply staple a Dairylea triangle to the wall in reception. Some bursting may occur, but ours stayed there long enough to go rotten. Perhaps they thought it was science.
written by Bi*nic S*eep, approved by Log

I don't know what kind of establishment Bionic Sheep went to, but the staplers at my school were barely powerful enough to punch through a small wad of paper, let alone 'planks of wood across the room'. I get the impression that his rememberances are somewhat shrouded in the tinsel and glitter. Or possibly the staplers at my school were just shit.
written by Ca*ta*n Cr*ck*rjack, approved by Conor