Donkey
"You may have heard," said Mr Delaney, "that some of the older pupils have a nickname for me. It's donkey, because of that song called 'Delaney's Donkey'. Have you heard it?"
No, we hadn't.
"It is rather funny, you know", he said, only twitching a little bit. "So, this is your one and only chance to call me donkey."

It absolutely, incontrovertibly wasn't.

written by Ha*ry *rout, approved by Conor