One day, I was walking down a corridor near a bathroom, and through the door seeped the telltale reek of a big shit. The smell had one peculiar property; it smelt of vinegar. And that's when I thought of the funniest thing I ever thought. I was going to burst through the bathroom door, and scream 'WHO HAS JUST DONE A GREAT BIG VINEGARY SHIT?'.
Putting my plan into action, I burst dramatically through the door, saw a couple of big Year 12s washing their hands, apologised and left.
Excellent work, Pierre. Have you had the comedic high point of your life unjustly robbed from you? Tell us how funny you really are, even though nobody knows it!

When I was very small, I heard an older boy exiting the school toilets and saying "it bloody well stinks in there". I thought this was by far the funniest thing I had ever heard, and decided to adopt it as my own.

The following weekend, on a family trip to the zoo, I engineered an opportunity to visit the toilet while my parents, siblings, aunt, uncle and three cousins waited outside. Upon exiting the facilities I declared to my audience "it bloody well stinks in there", with just the right measure of raffish je ne sais quoi.

Nobody laughed, and my father hit me across the back of the head.