Please learn from the mistake I made when I decided to deride a team-mate who had fumbled a very easy pass with Sgt. Hartman's most evocative quote:
"I bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the Goddamned common courtesy to give him a reach around."
Whilst I basked in the waves of appreciation from my team-mates, the referee (who also happened to be our head of year and best friend of my uncle), heard every word and looked thoroughly shocked. He metered out the most hideous, thoroughy despicable punishment known to man.
He told my mum. Word for word.