The Royal Turd
My elder brother was a medical student at a prestigious Scottish university. The Sydent's Union had been refitted and Princess Margaret (God rest her...)was invited to perform the opening ceremony. The queen's sister went to freshen up in the new toilets little knowing that my brother and friends were waiting at the end of the soil pipe. well you can guess what happened ...they managed to get Princess Margaret's Turd (note capital letters to denote importance of turd) into a jar of formaldehyde. My brother brought the turd home to show the family and I stupidly smuggled it out ouf the house and took it to school to show my friends. Not content with looking at the jar my friends insisted I fish it out and put it on the nature table. I got as far as trying to fish it out before it started to crumble. I aborted the attempt and rehoused the regal poo. I took it back home and I think Princess Margaret's log is still somewhere in my brother's loft.
My brother incidentally is one of the country's leading facial surgeons...I ended up as a penniless loser...but at least I touched the Turd.
