I was the only one with all my stationery, so I was often subject to lending things to people. I'm only human, so the resentment at being considered the class resource for pencils and protractors slowly built up.

One day in maths, my friend leaned over and asked me for a pencil. I replied "Okay, but I sucked on it." This seemed fair - by all means use my equipment, but they shall be marked by spittle.

To make myself heard over the drone of the class, I stated this loudly and firmly; certainly, my voice was loud and firm enough to silence the rest of the class, who immediately set about imagining the scenarios that might culminate in such an outburst.

Can YOU script a scene which makes dramatic sense, and culminates in the phrase "OK, but I sucked on it"? Send them in!