To 'snorkel' is to walk as if wearing deep-sea-diving flippers and waving your arms up and down. This had to be done just out of sight of a teacher while the rest of the class tried not to laugh. If someone laughed and the teacher didn't catch the snorkeler then they became 'the snorkeling snorkel-king' which was a position held in high regard.nnThe origins of this are so cruel that I can't believe I used to snorkel. Amanda has severe learning difficulties and had lost her ability to show emotions (such as laugh or cry) as a result of a serious car accident. The accident was explained to a class of twelve-year-olds as follows:nn"Amanda came out of the school gates last night and saw her mother on the other side of the road. Unfortunately she didn't see the car coming as she was wearing a Snorkel"nnTo the teacher a 'Snorkel' was a navy blue jacket with orange lining (made by Lord Anthony) with a fake-fur hood that when zipped up gave you tunnel vision. This obviously explained how the accident happened. However, thirty twelve year olds all imagined Amanda running across the road wearing a 'snorkel', face mask and flippers. The outburst of laughter landed all of us in detention for a full term and was instantly recognised as THE cruelest subject to joke about.

Aware of such dangers, we acted in a socially responsible way by dissuading kids from wearing these hazardous coats during times of snow. We would do this by piling onto anyone wearing one, doing the zip right up to maximise the snorkel effect and then packing the cavity in front of the face with handfuls of snow. Yeah, nice and tight.