When you see an ugly, fat, or disabled person on the street, you may allocate them to your friend by pointing them out and saying "Yours". The more ugly, fat or disabled they are, the better the yours.

[log]There are ways around this, for the person in receipt of the ugly, fat or disabled person. First, look for any attractive people nearby, and pretend they meant him. "What, the nude man with big brown nips? Thanks!"

If they try to correct you, acknowledge the intended target, look academic for a moment, and say "no, you can't mean him - he's legally yours". If there is no attractive person, simply front it out with "yeah, and he's got a massive cock, I love it".[/log]