tesco
Where a Trevor buys his best clothes, as in

Let's all go to Tesco's,
Where Trevor buys his best clothes,
They are so nif-ty,
for one pound fif-ty.
written by Lo*Fi D*n, Da* Wa*el*, approved by Log

End with a flourish...

but *insert name of poverty-stricken pupil* cannot grumble,
he gets his from the jumble la la la la, la la la la.

(n.b 'la' should be intoned with as big a tongue as possible, think Fat Sam singing at the very end of Bugsy Malone)
written by excluded pupil, approved by Log

For a further verse:

Down at Happy Shopper,
they're on special offer,
but beware,
Trevor is there
written by Wi*ter*Mute, approved by Log