The words "Emergency Exit" at the back of a school bus could with careful use of a penknife could be amended to "Virgin Exit". All well and good, but the one time in five years that the bus broke down, everyone refused to use it.

Led to our local bus company changing the signs to 'Emergency Door' - which, like some public-transport-fueled arms race, in turn gave rise to 'Virgin Loo'.

Why the fuck would it be virgin loo? Why not virgin door? I know loo is slightly more rude than door, but given that doors look nothing like loos, when faced with the choice between passing through a virgin loo or burning to death in a fiery bus crash, one could claim that one wasn't passing through a virgin loo as it clearly wasn't a loo, and thus the virgin element of the statement could be taken with a pinch of salt.
And whilst I'm at it, why the fuck did the bus company undertake such an expensive rebranding to avoid 'virgin exit', but rather than replace the modified word, they replaced the intact word?
Your childhood sounds like a sham to me.
(Have you spotted any inconsistencies or logical nonsenses in the behaviour of children? Noticed that some things they do just don't seem to make sense, and seem somehow childish? If so, drop us a line! It's kind of what the whole website is about.)