Xandara was a six foot tall vampire woman who had developed the desire to have sex with me and my friend at primary school. We waited a week for this grisly and exciting act, when my mate found some letters on the road from his grandparents. Scrawled in big letters on paper covered in claw-like tears and blood stains, the letters told us that Xandara had been captured by Satan, and that we had to go immediately to Hell and rescue her. That lunch-break we lay down on the school field arms outstretched as if on a cross and fingers touching each others, in an attempt to contact Xandara. Our explanation to the slowly assembling crowd that we were meditating was perhaps too successful - as the crowd joined us, and formed a circle. Even with this added power, Xandara was not raised. What were we doing wrong? We soon forgot about rescuing Xandara until my friend's keyboard broke (a real shame, as it had a cool chinese song among its demos) and we thought the strange noises it was making were Xandara talking to us directly from Hell.