| Report for Tom Brown | |
|---|---|
| Approved stories | 5 |
| Rejected stories (hidden) | 3 |
| Deleted stories (hidden) | 3 |
| Summary | Shows promise |
I was at school in the days when pupils were allowed to do things in chemistry lessons that might kill them. Now, of course, fatalities are only accepted in PE lessons, or in the janitor's house.
On one occasion we were told to measure out a quantity of some very volatile and noxious substance. No-one told us how to do this, so I decided that a mouth pipette would be approproiate. For those mercifully unfamiliar with chemistry, here is a man using a mouth pipette. Note how unsuitable it is for sucking on noxious liquids.
I put the end of the pipette in my mouth, then woke up surrounded by flames, smashed glassware, and my jeering classmates. And not one teacher rushed to offer me an out-of-court settlement of sixes of millions.
On one occasion we were told to measure out a quantity of some very volatile and noxious substance. No-one told us how to do this, so I decided that a mouth pipette would be approproiate. For those mercifully unfamiliar with chemistry, here is a man using a mouth pipette. Note how unsuitable it is for sucking on noxious liquids.
I put the end of the pipette in my mouth, then woke up surrounded by flames, smashed glassware, and my jeering classmates. And not one teacher rushed to offer me an out-of-court settlement of sixes of millions.
The vigilance of local shopkeepers denied us access to real cigarettes, so a competition developed to see who could smoke the most unpleasant and noxious substance found in the school classrooms.
We tried many items such as rolled up newspaper, animal bedding, plants, etc. But first prize went to the boy who attempted to smoke a significant length of bunsen burner tube. He lit one end, and then inhaled the fumes from the other.
He was, of course, copiously sick, leaving the classroom like a scene from The Exorcist. Magic.
We tried many items such as rolled up newspaper, animal bedding, plants, etc. But first prize went to the boy who attempted to smoke a significant length of bunsen burner tube. He lit one end, and then inhaled the fumes from the other.
He was, of course, copiously sick, leaving the classroom like a scene from The Exorcist. Magic.
The practice, when suffering from a cold or severe hay fever, of tipping your head right back, and sneezing a huge thick plug of mucous over the heads of the people seated in front of you. I good snot volley would land on the desk in front with a resounding splat.
A file with a surface texture between coarse and second-cut. Invented with the sole purpose of allowing twelve year old boys to swear in metalworking class.
Ripe abuse-fodder Julian was unfailingly clean and tidy, spoke respectfully to teachers, did his homework on time, passed his exams, and practiced playing the cello in his lunchbreaks. By the age of 14, he was also a Karate expert.
Julian became a cult hero to the rest of the geeks, as inevitable attempts by the school bullies to disrupt his cello practice were met with near-lethal force.
Legend has it that Bruce Lee was captain of the school chess team. Chuck Norris often voluntered to stay behind after lessons and clean the blackboard properly with a wet cloth. - Ponky
Julian became a cult hero to the rest of the geeks, as inevitable attempts by the school bullies to disrupt his cello practice were met with near-lethal force.
Legend has it that Bruce Lee was captain of the school chess team. Chuck Norris often voluntered to stay behind after lessons and clean the blackboard properly with a wet cloth. - Ponky