I always felt I was the king of Kiss Chase, as none of the girls could get near me. I ran like the wind and dodged tackles like a French rugby fly-half. And so I would often find myself in a corner of the playing field all on my own with nary a girl in sight. No girly germs for me thank you very much.

It was only ten years later that I realised all the other boys walked or stood still or 'tripped over' and got to spend the entire break snogging whilst I ran round on my own singing 'I am the Champion' like a fool.