We discovered the name of our wierdo gay physics teacher one day when his teacher friend came into our class to speak to our form teacher. The only words we heard were:
"Two things, Barry Berndes..."
Which quickly became the most said thing ever. To this day, I try to get myself into situations where I have two points to make to someone, so I can say "Two things.......
....
.................
Barry Berndes".
Often, I miss out crucial third things just so that I can say it. Shame I don't work with anyone else who was in my class really. If I did, meetings would be ace.

This idiotic offering from our Spanish teacher quickly became the method of silencing your classmates:
"Two words- shut up now."