We've all heard reports of the games exam invigilators play. Paper chicken, for example, where they anticipate which child will want paper next, and try to give it to them just before they put their hands up. If you see an invigilator standing behind the ugliest, most furiously-writingest child, this is what he is doing.
My father taught at the same school I attended, and a few months ago he told me that he had stood next to the most unpleasant kid in the year, and silently waved an eggy banner. I had never before felt so much love for my father as right then.

At a particularly well-known and illustrious public school, a young teacher decided to while away the hours on the laptop computer lying in the exam hall whilst invigilating an A level Physics exam. Little did he know that the laptop was plugged into a projector and the explicit websites he was visiting were displayed in all their glory behind him, 8 feet high, providing the students with a little light entertainment. The teacher was suspended on full pay, pending an investigation.

Editor's Note: Yes, we are fully aware that the above is 100% lies. If this genuinely had happened, it would have been glorious.

Thanks to all those avid readers who wrote in with this link, which would seem to prove Jim Clack right and Conor wrong.

I'm sure that Conor will issue a full and grovelling apology to Jim the moment he reads this.

Dear readers,
Well, yes, it seems I was a little too hasty in jumping on the bullshit bandwagon with this story. However, I'm not sorry, I don't care, and you're all gay.
All right, all right, I'll go and stand in the corner and do a snot bubble.