| Report for Tom Wardley | |
|---|---|
| Approved stories | 4 |
| Pending stories | 1 |
| Rejected stories | 6 |
| Deleted stories | 6 |
| Summary | Mean Boy |
Known as the hardest teacher in our school and not to be fucked with. Several years ago hung himself after being shopped to the police after putting his fingers up a couple of kids brown holes after they complained of headaches (he was first aid man). What was wrong with these fools? My mum never used to stick her finger up me harris when I was a yout.
Still the man was a wrong un and ginger.
Still the man was a wrong un and ginger.
BBC
Daniel Teuma, made the mistake of getting drunk with his sister and her friends. They then relieved him of his trousers and poked a banana up his chad, thereby overnight transforming into BBC, or Banana Bum Cheeks. The worrying thing here was, his sister was in the photo they took, clearly enjoying this act a bit too much.
Daniel Teuma, made the mistake of getting drunk with his sister and her friends. They then relieved him of his trousers and poked a banana up his chad, thereby overnight transforming into BBC, or Banana Bum Cheeks. The worrying thing here was, his sister was in the photo they took, clearly enjoying this act a bit too much.
Legend has it, young Diprose used to wank in front of his family when bored.
Leading to the infamous car journey when his mum turned to him in the back and said, ahem:
"Leave yourself alone, you're gonna make a right mess". Many people have claimed to have been in the car at the time, in order to verify the story. Why they would admit to this is anyones guess.
Leading to the infamous car journey when his mum turned to him in the back and said, ahem:
"Leave yourself alone, you're gonna make a right mess". Many people have claimed to have been in the car at the time, in order to verify the story. Why they would admit to this is anyones guess.
Mingepiece - M.I.N.G.E.P.I.E.C.E.
This is a spelling contest right?
This is a spelling contest right?
The act of jumping someone, as they are crashed out on their back, you place your knee on their bicep and then pump their arm up and down. A bit like a one armed bandit. Caused extreme pain and no doubt several deaths. Also rhyming slang for having the hump. e.g. Got the right fucking petrol today
On hearing a poor attempt at humour. Hold sides and insist that you "Have not laughed so much since me nan cut herself shaving"
When added to the end of a sentence, this magic word will instantly transform the speaker into a Rastafarian.
Use to great effect at registration.
"Smith?"
"Here, mon!"
Use to great effect at registration.
"Smith?"
"Here, mon!"
"New Trebor Mints are a minty bit strongeeerrrr...tick them up your arse and they'll last a bit longerrrr"
A great tune to kick off assembly.
A great tune to kick off assembly.
"New Trebor Mints are a minty bit strongerrrr....Stick 'em up your arse and they'll last a bit longerrrr"
By cupping your hand under your armpit and vigorously flapping your arm up and down, you can produce a fart noise. If like Eddie Sullivan, you are large, sweaty and cannot afford soap you may be able to also produce a slightly shitty smell as you do this, making it all the more real.
I understand that Eddie has since been signed up by the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra to add such effects to their enchanting percussion section.
I understand that Eddie has since been signed up by the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra to add such effects to their enchanting percussion section.
Coming atcha.
Fat little midgets, went platinum in the 90's with the classic "Ooo, get you!".
Fat little midgets, went platinum in the 90's with the classic "Ooo, get you!".
Frazzles. Bacon crisps on a folded slice of tesco's best, that shits on all other crisp sarnies. We weren't poor or owt (What a Sunday dinner!). Frazzles are like family to me. DON'T FUCK WITH MY FAMILY!
Frazzles. Bacon strips folded in a slice of Mothers Pride. That shits on ALL other crisp sarnies. We used to have em for Sunday dinner,we weren't poor or owt. Honest.
Frazzles are like family to me.
DON'T FUCK WITH MY FAMILY!
Frazzles are like family to me.
DON'T FUCK WITH MY FAMILY!
Some come here to sit and think, but I come here to shit and stink.
John Betjeman, 1947 - Lavaratory wall at St Thomas of Canterbury Middle School.
John Betjeman, 1947 - Lavaratory wall at St Thomas of Canterbury Middle School.
I attended a semi posh high school (Wimbledon College...don't you know). By semi posh, I mean that most of the pupils had been to fee paying schools, but I think that the school were obliged to take on it's share of free school dinner lads. Like me.
Anyway, as every posho likes a bit of cock up their harris, the Choco Bicky song was employed whenever conversing with our betters.
ahem...
If you like a lot of chocolate (Point to bumhole) on your biscuit (Point to groin) join our club (point in general direction of oity toity you are harrassing).
I done did got 6 G.C.S.E.s. Don't you know.
Anyway, as every posho likes a bit of cock up their harris, the Choco Bicky song was employed whenever conversing with our betters.
ahem...
If you like a lot of chocolate (Point to bumhole) on your biscuit (Point to groin) join our club (point in general direction of oity toity you are harrassing).
I done did got 6 G.C.S.E.s. Don't you know.
Paul Bostock had a shock of straw/whiteish coloured hair. Now, if you watch any war filims, there is always one and only one blonde hair and blue eyed Aryan (Usually the one that was in The Great Escape, dunno his name). Hence the nickname "GERMAN!". He cried so much over this that he got eye cancer and got pneumonia after going out in the cold with a tear soggy jumper.
Paul Bostock had a shock of straw/whiteish coloured hair. Now, if you watch any war filims, there is always one and only one blonde hair and blue eyed Aryan (Usually the one that was in The Great Escape, dunno his name). Hence the nickname "GERMAN!". He cried so much over this that he got eye cancer and got pneumonia after going out in the cold with a tear soggy jumper.