I have seen the Building site version mentioned above. Can't remember much about it apart from a shoe with a bit of foot in it. Scary.

Kids usually write other poeples names on the unattended blackboard - ie smudger is a twat, or some such similar. Being a bit dim I thought no one would be stupid enough to write their own name on a board, so I did, thinking that someone else, anyone else, would get the blame. Unfortunately, there being no markers around, I used one from Terry's pencil case, and it was a permanent marker. so the words 'Jon Robinson wrote this!' remained on the board for a whole week, as no one would own up to writing it. They eventually came off with lots of rubbing.

Actually the 2d10 method that you use to roll a number from 1 to 100 is called rolling "percentile dice". Usually you do it with two one die of each color, or you can buy specially made d10's which have 00, 10, 20, 30, etc printed on them instead.
Thank you, The Goddess Ecclesia. Now let this sorry entry come to a twitching, hopeless end. You scare me. - Log

This involved drawing as many penises as possible on a colleague's text book / excercise book / bag / homework diary / piece of artwork / photograph of dead relative etc. whilst their back was turned. It was perfected to 3 loops removing pen from paper only to draw in a "T" at the top. Twenty nobs in ten seconds was a skilled, but not uncommon occurrence.

There's something beautifully simple and yet utterly compelling about this tale of lies, family and betrayal - Phil

My friend Claire used to tell everyone how she could do anything at school because the caretaker was her uncle. We all believed her until one evening when he caught her climbing over the fence into the school garden and he told her to fuck off.

Clearly just Technical Drawing rebranded with a pretentious London-artwank-college name.

I don't know if dabs exist anywhere else in the world, but in Feniscowles in Blackburn, they were slices of huge baking potato dipped in batter and fried. At 10p each, they were an extremely cheap, tasty and unhealthy meal for a growing child.
Paul H., our school's most prolific and robotic swearer, simply could not order a dab without referring to it as a "fucking dab". In everyday life, some nouns would escape the fucking prefix. But never dabs. Perhaps he just thought dabs was too short a word to make sense on its own - perhaps he just fucking hated the fucking dabs.
Briefly, the school grounds became 'The Place of the Eighteen Fuckings', when Paul H was hit across the back of his legs by his best friend, and managed eighteen uninterrupted fuckings before another word broke the flow. I think this has never been beaten anywhere else in the world.

It's a well known fact that every time you get hit in the head, you lose 10,000 brain cells.

A 1984 experiment to test the efficacy of the claim yielded conclusive proof that it is indeed true. As Sam set about repeatedly hitting precocious upstart Andrew between the eyes, Andrew replied in his excruciating matter-of-fact way "No, no Sam. You've got to hit me much harder than that."

The inevitable ensued.


Perhaps based on the word “rapier”, I thought for some time that the term “rape” meant to attack someone with a knife. I rather foolishly enquired with a group of male friends whether or not we should go rape the girls.
(The image is only improved by the idea that Widdler was waving a knife around at the time… - Log)

The corridor cleaning machines with circular furry discs on the underside.
This name must be unique to my school. As a group of us were engaged in some light vandalism of the sixth form common room, the head caretaker walked in and caught us.
Angry, but not having enough respect or guts to challenge us directly, he said "stop that, or I'll go and get Mike Webber". The idea of our Deputy Head, Mr Webber, having an informal first name didn't register, so there was a moment of confusion before someone asked "what's a kwebber?"
The only thing that made sense was that he was offering to tidy up our mess with his massive sandy-wheeled machine. So on we carried.