One girl in my class was convinced the school milk came from rabbits. How the hell she thought you'd fit a milking machine on tiny little rabbit baps I have no idea.
My brother used to put pink food colouring (not Nesquik or anything cool, just dye) in milk and call it dragon's milk. Why he didn't get beaten up more often I have no idea either.
My brother used to put pink food colouring (not Nesquik or anything cool, just dye) in milk and call it dragon's milk. Why he didn't get beaten up more often I have no idea either.
At Crossfields, an all boys public school, swimming lessons involved compulsory nudity.
I wish this wasn't true! The practice ended just after I left, due to the 'self-consciousness of the boys'. No shit. This was in 1985.
A nice twist came when the swimming teacher's daughters (in cossies) were in the pool on some sort of open day thing, and we all dived in to join them, much to their embarrassment, but not ours.
I wish this wasn't true! The practice ended just after I left, due to the 'self-consciousness of the boys'. No shit. This was in 1985.
A nice twist came when the swimming teacher's daughters (in cossies) were in the pool on some sort of open day thing, and we all dived in to join them, much to their embarrassment, but not ours.
Living In A Box's eponymous hit. A useful song for when words like gypo and fleabag lose their effect. Can be used in conjunction with "Uptown Slag, she's been living in a paper bag," by Billy Joel.
My name's an anagram of "an anal elephant deity", but no-one at school was very interested. They preferred punching my face to engaging in amusing word play.
We converted the last line of a really bad Christmas hymn from;
'Most highly favoured lady, Gloria' to
'Most highly flavoured gravy, aaaah...Bisto'
'Most highly favoured lady, Gloria' to
'Most highly flavoured gravy, aaaah...Bisto'
Pants checkers will go to the changing room during swimming, while everyone else was in the pool. Then, they would check all pants for "poo stripes." I agree, strange in hindsight. Philip Connors pants generally tested positive and then would be held aloft by the side of the swimming pool accompanied by shouts of "Err Connors got poo stripes".
The band Anal Cunt allows for more contemporary classroom jaw-dropping. Classic song titles include "I Became A Counselor So I Could Tell Rape Victims They Asked For It".
[log]Check out the full track-listing for Anal Cunt's 1999 album, It Just Gets Worse. If you don't laugh ten times, you are not welcome here.[/log]
[log]Check out the full track-listing for Anal Cunt's 1999 album, It Just Gets Worse. If you don't laugh ten times, you are not welcome here.[/log]
Hugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert's dribbling spunk
Hugh Puked on Barney McGrew, Cuthbert dribbled on Grub
Trumpton nostalgia lost its charm in 1992, when a bar in Manchester called Barney McGrews opened its doors. This bar was immediately populated by groups of people saying;
Hugh Puked on Barney McGrew, Cuthbert dribbled on Grub
Trumpton nostalgia lost its charm in 1992, when a bar in Manchester called Barney McGrews opened its doors. This bar was immediately populated by groups of people saying;
- Do you remember Trumpton?
- God, how did it go again?
- How did the windmill go on Camberwick Green?
- No, that was Ivor the Engine.
- Camberwick Green was one of the first spin-offs, actually.
- Mork and Mindy was a spin-off too, you know. 100% fact.
- Hugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert's dribbling spunk!!
- Hugh Puked on Barney McGrew, Cuthbert dribbled on Grub!!!
After receiving his BCG, Duncan Horn proudly declared, "now I can't get arachnophobia".
Condom, Durex, Rubber Johnny. As 10 year olds we used sticks to hook used 'dunkies' out of streams and recycle them as biological weapons in playground fights.