Another equally hilarious way of mocking the afflicted was to double your arm up inside your sleeve so as to grip your should with your hand then rolling back the sleeve so that the ball of your elbow poked out the end like a stump. You should not make the mistake of forgetting to push your tongue into your bottom lip and making mong sounds to complete the effect. Doing this with both arms at once would really win you some serious kudos/detention.
Tango Advertising Boardroom, 1993
Exec A : What's Tango like?
Exec B : Dunno. Orangey.
Exec C : It's more than just Orangey, my friend. It's got zizz, it's got zazz. The bubbles suck up your tongue like the kisses of goldfish.
Exec B : Oh, stop it. You always get carried away like this.
Exec C : It's an experience, a lifestyle. It's a path, a method. A liquid universe with CO2 planets constantly being created and destroyed. It's a cosm.
Exec A : I'll get some coffee.
Exec B : No, stay. Please.
Exec C : It attacks you. It gets onto all fours behind you while its friend pushes you over it. It bites you during a kiss. It slaps its hands over your ears.
Exec B : Ha. We used to do that at school. It was funny.
Exec A : Didn't it hurt?
Exec B : Dunno. Never had it done to me. Did it to the fat kid, though. Ha. Fat kids. Haha.
Exec C : So that's it. We get a fat bloke, and he slaps this guy over the ears. The guy is drinking Tango.
Exec B : Haha. Fat bloke. Let's paint him orange. Then he'd look like an orange, all fat and orange.
Exec C : You're on fire, Jeremy.
The advert was banned, when parents complained that their children had been sent deaf by thousands of copy-cat ear-slappings around the country. Tango's attempts to distance themselves from this "dangerous" behaviour were damaged by the fact that the children were shouting "YOU'VE BEEN TANGO'D" as they did it.
See the revised version of the advert at Absolutely Andy. It's some way down the page, so search for "Tango".
Exec A : What's Tango like?
Exec B : Dunno. Orangey.
Exec C : It's more than just Orangey, my friend. It's got zizz, it's got zazz. The bubbles suck up your tongue like the kisses of goldfish.
Exec B : Oh, stop it. You always get carried away like this.
Exec C : It's an experience, a lifestyle. It's a path, a method. A liquid universe with CO2 planets constantly being created and destroyed. It's a cosm.
Exec A : I'll get some coffee.
Exec B : No, stay. Please.
Exec C : It attacks you. It gets onto all fours behind you while its friend pushes you over it. It bites you during a kiss. It slaps its hands over your ears.
Exec B : Ha. We used to do that at school. It was funny.
Exec A : Didn't it hurt?
Exec B : Dunno. Never had it done to me. Did it to the fat kid, though. Ha. Fat kids. Haha.
Exec C : So that's it. We get a fat bloke, and he slaps this guy over the ears. The guy is drinking Tango.
Exec B : Haha. Fat bloke. Let's paint him orange. Then he'd look like an orange, all fat and orange.
Exec C : You're on fire, Jeremy.
The advert was banned, when parents complained that their children had been sent deaf by thousands of copy-cat ear-slappings around the country. Tango's attempts to distance themselves from this "dangerous" behaviour were damaged by the fact that the children were shouting "YOU'VE BEEN TANGO'D" as they did it.
See the revised version of the advert at Absolutely Andy. It's some way down the page, so search for "Tango".
An unfortunate pupil at our school had mild Spina Bifida which caused him to walk with a sideways hip-swinging shuffle.
We thought he was rather cool because he looked as though he was grooving along to a funky tune that only he could hear; he may have just been listening to our tuneless rendition of "Soul Man" and finger-snapping as he jive-walked past our classroom window.
We thought he was rather cool because he looked as though he was grooving along to a funky tune that only he could hear; he may have just been listening to our tuneless rendition of "Soul Man" and finger-snapping as he jive-walked past our classroom window.
Dennis was told to leave Chemistry by Mrs Tench. For some minutes, he continued to pull faces and flip v-signs at the window. Mrs Tench announced, rightly, that he would get bored of his juvenile behaviour if we just ignored him.
Sure enough, he disappeared. Minutes later, he roared past the windows of the classroom in Mrs Tench's crash helmet, riding Mrs Tench's moped.
Mrs Tench remained admirably stoic throughout the incident, ignoring Dennis' antics until other teachers dismounted him mid-donut and led him away.
Sure enough, he disappeared. Minutes later, he roared past the windows of the classroom in Mrs Tench's crash helmet, riding Mrs Tench's moped.
Mrs Tench remained admirably stoic throughout the incident, ignoring Dennis' antics until other teachers dismounted him mid-donut and led him away.
At my old school we had an annual fete, and every year there would be a raffle. The prizes would be boxes made up of items that parents and others had donated, and there were different categories, such as the 'Chocolate' box, the 'Bathroom' box and, by far the best, the 'Surprise' box, where the mystery contents were wrapped in fancy paper!
One day, walking across the playground, my friend and I saw a nice ripe piece of dogshit; so we got a cereal box, stole some tape and some pink poster paper, and wrapped our piece of shit up, slipping it in to the 'Surprise' box before lunch.
Sadly, we never found out who won the 'Surprise' box, but we hope whoever it was one day visits this wonderful website and realizes it was me that gave them a big shit in a Coco Pops box.
One day, walking across the playground, my friend and I saw a nice ripe piece of dogshit; so we got a cereal box, stole some tape and some pink poster paper, and wrapped our piece of shit up, slipping it in to the 'Surprise' box before lunch.
Sadly, we never found out who won the 'Surprise' box, but we hope whoever it was one day visits this wonderful website and realizes it was me that gave them a big shit in a Coco Pops box.
Used in response to someone insulting your father, or any other family member, said tearfully and sincerely. The victim would hopefully say "Oh shit, I'm sorry", and then you'd laugh in their face.
There were no rules to getting a chase, you just had to find someone who was capable of beating the shit out of you and goad them into trying to do just that - for example, calling a group of older boys poofs, throwing stones at passing lorries and, on one inspired occasion, going into a farmer's field and punching the cows.
A group of about six girls, who claimed to be an "environmental" group and received permission to use the library for our "meetings". We even had a logo, which we drew on our official membership cards and notebooks (crafted from stapled foolscap). In actual fact the name of the club was simply a cover for its real purpose, which was to sit around and write secret-code gossipy messages about Andrea. The club lasted for a week, until the rest of the class found out about the Nature Girls and its crappy name and laughed it out of existence.
'Hopefully big and hairy' was the standard response to the Irish version, 'How's the Craic?'
The 'hopefully' is the key to understanding the Irish psyche. We like 'em big and bushy, ladies.
The 'hopefully' is the key to understanding the Irish psyche. We like 'em big and bushy, ladies.
A despicable breed who share interests and sympathy with the geeks, but have somehow managed to end up with a popular set of friends. These double agents may even go to their geek friends' houses at the weekend to paint little lead goblins, but within school hours they are inexplicably distant, their one concession to the sham of a friendship being the fact that they only laugh half-heartedly at the routine deconstruction of the geek's psyche.