These books are still in use at the school I currently attent. It was in year seven that I
noticed the pun, and tried to explain the hilarity of it to my neaderthalic peers. It was about this time that the beatings started.

Just a fairly shit – if charming - insult song; sung to the tune from the Pet Shop Boy's hit single 'Go West'.
Pascal, wrestles grizzly bears.
Pascal, in the open air.
Pascal, in his underwear.
Pascal, that's why we don't care.
If we were really so indifferent to Pascal’s habits, however, it’s odd that we spent so much time singing about how much we didn’t care.

Hilarious parody of the song 'Live it up' by 80s nobodys Mental As Anything.
Sung to a recently bereaved child thus: "Hey there you with the Dead Mum, go back to my place and dig her up..."
It didn't really rhyme, but it usually caused the unfortunate child to cry and/or explode in violent rage at the injustice of the universe.

A: Want some gum?
B: Ooh, yes, please.
A: CHEW MY BUM!!!!

Presumably the victim is too shocked by the voracity of the comeback to take you up on the offer.

A retarded girl.
It was a peculiarity of Anita's retardedness that she got upset very easily. You would only have to say "Hey, Anita!" to get her attention, then say something innocuous, like "It's raining!". This would cause her to scream "It's not!", start crying, and run away.
When I was about seven years old, Anita would have been about fifteen. My friend and I climbed a small flight of stairs to find her standing at the top, with her handler and a teacher (who was congratulating her on how well she was behaving that morning).
I decided that this would be a very good time for her to go mong in the head, so I yelled "Hey Anita... YOU HAVE NEW SHOES ON!"
Normally she would have said "I DO NOOOOT", cried, and run away. This time, however, she picked me up, bellowed in my face, then threw me down the stairs.
Funny folk, these mingmongs.

A gentle, quasi-insult from more innocent days, when climbing up a thing just to get to the top of it was the giddiest of thrills. "I’m the King of the castle/and you’re the dirty rascal!" you’d shout from the top to your fellow climbee, and genuinely, you couldn’t have felt king-ier if you tried. Try calling someone a "dirty rascal" these days and seeing where it gets you.

Interestingly, even girls shouted "KING of the castle". Presumably it’s not considered a very queenly thing to do, climbing stuff, though HRH would probably be more popular if she did occasionally tuck her skirt in her pants and got a boostie up the side of a bus shelter.

The scenario unfolds as follows:
1) Toilet flushes.
2) My friend exits the toilet, looking puzzled.
3) My friend asks the question 'do you cum when you poo?'
I was unable to say anything. I still am.

Twinkle twinkle little star what you say is what you are If you say it back to me You're a hairy chimpanzee Immunity from everything follows.

The AK-47 in the arse-nal of the phantom shitter, the Reverse Dougan involves squatting on the bog the wrong way round, facing the cistern. Your brahn baby will curl nicely on the gentle slope at the front of the bowl, and will sit there earnestly waiting for the next person to use the facilities. Flushing, naturally, is verboten.

The length of Simon Baptist's penis, which he told everyone at every given opportunity. Not in a "My dick's bigger than yours" kind of way, but in a "wow, i'm really happy with the way this has turned out" kind of way.
It's a fantastic time to be alive when someone gets the piss taken for having a bigger dick than yourself.