Constructed, like coats made from animal skins, by the zipping together of five or so duffel coats. Then, climb inside and giggle until bored. Ski coats, which had detachable arms (in case you became trapped under a tree whilst skiing, and needed to sacrifice a limb), could be made into a ski ensemble, by unzipping the arms, zipping the arms to each other and wearing them as trousers. Then you could walk around like the Lord of the Manor, even if you did walk like duck wearing a nappy full of shit.

A lie that is unnervingly believable to a na´ve five year old child is that you can only urinate in a public urinal once you have climbed down the plughole, where it is private. This can cause a child to piss himself out of reluctance to use the toilet. It did me.

Nigel Bullimore: An Apology
I'm sorry, Nigel, for making you sit on a table and say "chocodooby" before i pushed you off the table backwards, hilariously. You must admit though, you did look like the character in the advert. And it was funny. In fact, I'm not sure I'm that sorry.

Andrew came to school, every single day, with a packet of digestive biscuits. What a fat cunt was the general feeling until his biscuits were stolen, Andrew became extremely ill, and the children of Charlton Primary had something called 'diabetes' explained to them by spittingly-furious headmaster.

At my school, posting was perfected to achieve a more painful end. The 'postee' was carried by four 'posters' so more speed could be developed, and was posted face down into one of the thick wooden struts which support cricket sightscreens. These, for those not in the know, slope downwards at approximately 45 degrees, thus ensuring maximum contact twixt post and genitalia.

If you see some geniune badness, and you are very young or naive, then your mouth will drop open, your eyes widen, and the only word you will be able to summon is a breathless "tell-ing". Then you will run in a random direction until you hit something.

Our school had pull-back partition walls separating some rooms. When we were upstairs in French, we used to throw planes down at a class diagonally below us. Their teacher usually went bananas at us but one day as a plane was slowly wafting down towards her, she looked up sharply and her left breast fell out of her dress. She didn't notice. Her entire class did. She ended up having a nervous breakdown.

Heh. I just thought of this one in the pub last night, so file under red todgers for "celebrity spoonerisms you think of 20 years too late, and have since been referenced lightly on the b3ta boards when you google them".
Remember that DJ? The presenter of zany children's gameshow Funhouse, and the hairier 50% of "Haven't Stopped Dancing Yet" legends Pat 'n' Mick?
I give you Shat Parp.

In extreme cases of skill, the surname McGill may be added.

A dinner queue offer best riposted with "no, it's just the way my trousers hang".
Also applicable to offers of boiled sprouts, grated carrot, hot plums etc