| Report for J Tapdancer | |
|---|---|
| Approved stories | 3 |
| Rejected stories | 3 |
| Summary | Exemplary Child |
Phil and Clare Orgasm Fully after Good Sex. Helped me remember the biology classification order for Phylum, Class, Organism, Family, Genus, Species (I think). Told to me by Phil who was going out with Clare (and was obviously a liar).
We had a teacher who's nickname was Hitler (as i'm sure many did). This was based almost entirely on the fact that he had a moustach and a last name of Hollis, and Hitler Hollis sounded like it fit. It did, as if we pissed about too much he would go completely mental and run around shouting and screaming and threatening and throwing things round. Then, even more worryingly, he would retreat behind his desk and look shame faced and say "now form 2F, I lost my temper there and I would like to apologise. There was no excuse for my behaviour. Okay, open your books to Chapter 8, Rogers, start reading". Teachers going bezerk we could handle, it was the shamed apology after that scared the shit out of us.
One of a range of questions that will generally be followed by a lingering, horrified silence. The questioner will discover that no, no one knew, and that he had, in fact, made a terrible blunder that would haunt him for the rest of his days.
The Dragon
Basically a genie, but one tears out a small square from the inner and outer parts to the matchbox on the side where the match heads sit. Then apply lit match in similar fashion to the genie but, and here is where the dragon becomes wildly more daring, stick the lit match through the little square hole. Result? A burst of directed flame almost exactly (un)like a burst of flame from a grumpy dragon's cave.
Crazyness-bordering-on-the-off-the-wall!!!1rofflesthegentlemanthug!!!
Basically a genie, but one tears out a small square from the inner and outer parts to the matchbox on the side where the match heads sit. Then apply lit match in similar fashion to the genie but, and here is where the dragon becomes wildly more daring, stick the lit match through the little square hole. Result? A burst of directed flame almost exactly (un)like a burst of flame from a grumpy dragon's cave.
Crazyness-bordering-on-the-off-the-wall!!!1rofflesthegentlemanthug!!!
An ollie, as everyone who's ever played Tony Hawks will know, is like when you jump, but with a skateboard on.
Aged thirteen, we would practice our ollies for hours on end. When any of us got so much as an inch off the ground, we could all get seriously amazed.
During one afternoon of such cripple-hopping, we heard the roll and clatter of a familiar crap half-ollie, followed by a loud and insincere exclamation of "whoops!".
Apparently, while we were looking the other way, Alan had accidentally ollied over his dad's car.
Now, the thing that made this especially amazing, was Alan's ongoing persistence that the trick was not in his mind. This went on for months, despite constant jeering and a failure to repeat the trick because when people were looking, it "put him off".
These lies climaxed with an audacious lie-reversal, where he shouted at everyone that he'd never said that he had accidentally ollied over his father's car, and that he hadn't maintained the opposite for the last four months at all.
Ask him today, and he still denies he ever said it, which totally proves my point.
Aged thirteen, we would practice our ollies for hours on end. When any of us got so much as an inch off the ground, we could all get seriously amazed.
During one afternoon of such cripple-hopping, we heard the roll and clatter of a familiar crap half-ollie, followed by a loud and insincere exclamation of "whoops!".
Apparently, while we were looking the other way, Alan had accidentally ollied over his dad's car.
Now, the thing that made this especially amazing, was Alan's ongoing persistence that the trick was not in his mind. This went on for months, despite constant jeering and a failure to repeat the trick because when people were looking, it "put him off".
These lies climaxed with an audacious lie-reversal, where he shouted at everyone that he'd never said that he had accidentally ollied over his father's car, and that he hadn't maintained the opposite for the last four months at all.
Ask him today, and he still denies he ever said it, which totally proves my point.
We once had to line up in the hallway for an entire day and stand there through meal times and breaks due to someone smearing "Boss is gay" in turd across the wall of the bording student toilets. Boss being the headmaster. Why missing all our classes and games periods was deemed as being horrific enough to get the offensive pupil to own up i'll never know. Who cares about missing lunch? we just missed double maths!
Turned out it was one of the more excitable spanish exchange students, which just goes to prove the sheer foulness of all filthy exchange students.... The guy was a legend.....
Turned out it was one of the more excitable spanish exchange students, which just goes to prove the sheer foulness of all filthy exchange students.... The guy was a legend.....