| Report for Scott Douglas | |
|---|---|
| Approved stories | 6 |
| Rejected stories | 4 |
| Deleted stories (hidden) | 12 |
| Summary | Mean Boy |
Being at that age where penile exploration (and subsequent comparison) was particularly rife, three friends and myself thought it would be a cracking riot to share a communal piss in the "big kids" loos.
Giggling began as four streams joined togeteher in glorious Handelesque harmony, but it soon got too much to resist.
It started with a little flick, a little move to the side, then suddenly we were taken by the moment, spraying our urine on the toilet, walls, floors, and each other. We finished up, convulsing with laughter; the last boy making a show of it and spinning around in a 360 degree piss cycle.
We then opened the door to find our teacher standing there, fuming at our soaked trousers. Two boys started crying right there; I held strong though, until they broke me back in the office - the "getting your mum in" card was too damn effective.
Giggling began as four streams joined togeteher in glorious Handelesque harmony, but it soon got too much to resist.
It started with a little flick, a little move to the side, then suddenly we were taken by the moment, spraying our urine on the toilet, walls, floors, and each other. We finished up, convulsing with laughter; the last boy making a show of it and spinning around in a 360 degree piss cycle.
We then opened the door to find our teacher standing there, fuming at our soaked trousers. Two boys started crying right there; I held strong though, until they broke me back in the office - the "getting your mum in" card was too damn effective.
One of our Biology textbooks had a signing dictionary in it. This enabled you to say "Miss Williams has a sloppy twat" when she was looking at you.
We used to find it interesting that, when under the relentless pressure of a tightly fought game of speednob, the individual styles that came through. Mine were very much spiky, treble triangle affairs, while mj's were more like a three leaf clover. Of course by the end of the minute (our games were one on one contests - the sheer volume of nobs everywhere by now rendered the sneaky nob-draw obsolete (which didn't make us stop tho)) you had some fairly sloppy nobs...
A variation on speednob reversal (born from a mixture of the endless search for new ideas and uses for the nob, and the fact that we would quite happily adorn our OWN work with the things) was to try and turn everything FROM the noraml, into a nob. Capital letters of the A, D and W variety (W was particularly cunning, and could be formed while writing - a "U" shape, with a teeny dash down the middle) were fair game, but it all got a bit outlandish when the spunk spurts ejecting from the nobs were given the horizontal and vertical line treatment, then ITS spunk bubble was turned to a nob, then the next, and so on, add infinitum.
Our love of the art of drawing nobs developed over the years, with me and mj cofounding the "Nobtionary" - a set of amusingly charicatured penis'. "mcnob" - an appropriately scottish themed nob, with bagpipes. "nobzilla" - the balls acted as haunches, with an enlargened urethra his roaring mouth. "thomas the wank engine" was fairly obvious (the balls acting as the larger rear wheels). there were soooo many, but sadly lost now. reward offered.
A variation on speednob reversal (born from a mixture of the endless search for new ideas and uses for the nob, and the fact that we would quite happily adorn our OWN work with the things) was to try and turn everything FROM the noraml, into a nob. Capital letters of the A, D and W variety (W was particularly cunning, and could be formed while writing - a "U" shape, with a teeny dash down the middle) were fair game, but it all got a bit outlandish when the spunk spurts ejecting from the nobs were given the horizontal and vertical line treatment, then ITS spunk bubble was turned to a nob, then the next, and so on, add infinitum.
Our love of the art of drawing nobs developed over the years, with me and mj cofounding the "Nobtionary" - a set of amusingly charicatured penis'. "mcnob" - an appropriately scottish themed nob, with bagpipes. "nobzilla" - the balls acted as haunches, with an enlargened urethra his roaring mouth. "thomas the wank engine" was fairly obvious (the balls acting as the larger rear wheels). there were soooo many, but sadly lost now. reward offered.
Bumlifting:
A physics lesson sport, which involved admiring the peculiar ability of the four geeks on the desk in front (nerd row, like death row see) to sit upon their stools, arses thrust skywards. There was no real points system, but kudos was given to a particularly protracted or stylish bum lift. Big James Canton normally won, his formiddable behind seeing off the challenge of weedy Joe Chadwick.
Bum Sliding:
Possibly already mentioned; involved sliding along the edge of tables, with only the arse having any contact to the surface. Advanced sliders knew all the tricks - tables pushed together, and polished with the help of some ingenious soul who found a can of Pledge, a lengthy run up, and good feet clearance could result in reverse bum slides, 360 bum slides, or maybe the coveted "one cheek". Fantastically, a misjudged slide would end in a cartoony flail into the nearest wall.
A physics lesson sport, which involved admiring the peculiar ability of the four geeks on the desk in front (nerd row, like death row see) to sit upon their stools, arses thrust skywards. There was no real points system, but kudos was given to a particularly protracted or stylish bum lift. Big James Canton normally won, his formiddable behind seeing off the challenge of weedy Joe Chadwick.
Bum Sliding:
Possibly already mentioned; involved sliding along the edge of tables, with only the arse having any contact to the surface. Advanced sliders knew all the tricks - tables pushed together, and polished with the help of some ingenious soul who found a can of Pledge, a lengthy run up, and good feet clearance could result in reverse bum slides, 360 bum slides, or maybe the coveted "one cheek". Fantastically, a misjudged slide would end in a cartoony flail into the nearest wall.
'Pastime' derived from an Indian sport that used to be on Channel 4. The actual game involved two teams of Indians in nappies on a dusty court, with the apparent aim being to hit each other in the legs. Why, with a little fine tuning, this would make a great playground game, we said.
We 'fine tuned' it to the point where we actually just beat each other up whilst yelling "KABBADI!".
Although the casual racism was the cherry on the cake, it was those two key elements - shouting and fighting - that made it such a hit.
We 'fine tuned' it to the point where we actually just beat each other up whilst yelling "KABBADI!".
Although the casual racism was the cherry on the cake, it was those two key elements - shouting and fighting - that made it such a hit.
A game similar to 'Scissors Paper Stone'.
Option 1 (denoted by making a fist) - look at a reflection of a photo of Sket's mum, one where shes not facing the camera, from 2 miles away.
Option 2 (denoted by a flat palm) - get done in the bum by the entire New Zealand rugby team, whilst being watched by a couple of silverback gorillas, who then join in for seconds.321Everyone shows a flat palm, even Sket.
Option 1 (denoted by making a fist) - look at a reflection of a photo of Sket's mum, one where shes not facing the camera, from 2 miles away.
Option 2 (denoted by a flat palm) - get done in the bum by the entire New Zealand rugby team, whilst being watched by a couple of silverback gorillas, who then join in for seconds.321Everyone shows a flat palm, even Sket.
Hot on the heels of the wedge was the undercut, and respect was gained by how far up your undercut went. The more hardcore just had a few long hairs sprouting from the very top of their head. I can still see my mums despairing looks as I asked the hairdresser to style me up.
---------------------------------------
ps - hope im not flooding you too hard...ive had an insomnia night, which i have gotten through by way of this lush site.
---------------------------------------
ps - hope im not flooding you too hard...ive had an insomnia night, which i have gotten through by way of this lush site.
Scabby Queen
This is basically the game Old Maid. The "scabby" element comes from the punishment for losing, which is a number of scrapes to the knuckles with the whole deck. The number and violence of the scrapes is determined by cutting the cards (red = soft taps, black = full-blooded whacks, value of card = number of hits).
Convincing a gullible child that any card they draw is worth 20 and concealing a credit card in the deck prior to administering the scrapes will ensure maximum bleeding. If you're a schoolkid with a credit card, that is.
Scrapes
A 2-player game that saves all that fucking around with Scabby Queen rules. Player One cuts. Player Two gives Player One the appropriate number of scrapes as hard as they fucking well can. Player Two cuts. Repeat until either player can�t take any more.
There are arguably no real winners in this game. However, if the player administering the scrapes drops the deck of cards, the other player is entitled to give them fifty-two scrapes. I only saw this happen once, but it resulted in a hand that looked like it had got stuck in a bacon slicer.
This is basically the game Old Maid. The "scabby" element comes from the punishment for losing, which is a number of scrapes to the knuckles with the whole deck. The number and violence of the scrapes is determined by cutting the cards (red = soft taps, black = full-blooded whacks, value of card = number of hits).
Convincing a gullible child that any card they draw is worth 20 and concealing a credit card in the deck prior to administering the scrapes will ensure maximum bleeding. If you're a schoolkid with a credit card, that is.
Scrapes
A 2-player game that saves all that fucking around with Scabby Queen rules. Player One cuts. Player Two gives Player One the appropriate number of scrapes as hard as they fucking well can. Player Two cuts. Repeat until either player can�t take any more.
There are arguably no real winners in this game. However, if the player administering the scrapes drops the deck of cards, the other player is entitled to give them fifty-two scrapes. I only saw this happen once, but it resulted in a hand that looked like it had got stuck in a bacon slicer.
I don't think it has ever been established whether the feeling of 6 sneezes in a row equals an orgasm, or if you sneeze 6 times, the sheer power results in uncontrollable ejaculation. When experimenting, do not use an extremely sharp pencil to induce sneezes in art class as it will result in a nosebleed.
Me and a friend got N64s for Christmas (complete with rumble paks) and spent a day charging our Diddy Kong racing karts into walls, with our controllers resting gently against the crotch. This was also completely innocent and not gay. Of course, this was back in the day when Mario and Luigi were just good friends and their moustaches were mere symbols of good, honest pluck - not the bumrimming arsecowboys we are wrongly led to perceive them as today.